I get this question a lot. Many brides want to know if they can ask for money or set up a money tree in lieu of other wedding gifts. Etiquette is pretty clear cut in this issue. It is traditionally very improper to ask for money as a wedding gift. The keyword here is traditionally. While It is not against wedding etiquette for close friends and family to contribute to the cost of the wedding, asking for money instead of a traditional wedding gift is a big No-No.

Keep in mind that modern wedding etiquette is constantly changing to reflect the needs of a new and diverse group of Echo Boomer Brides. Many couples are opting for store certificates, gift cards or cash instead of wedding presents. This may not set well with older guests, but younger wedding guests will be ok with asking for cash wedding gifts.

I've attended very few weddings where money trees were used. However, these are not entirely inappropriate. Money trees are usually used where there is no registry. Also, guests are warned ahead of time that a money tree will be presented at the reception instead of other wedding gifts. In this way, no guests are inconvenienced by forgetting to bring cash. Guests who bring gifts will not feel foolish nor will guests who fail to bring a gift.

Quite honestly, issues like this happen a lot when money trees are used. Guests who do not bring a wedding gift and provide cash instead feel like a heel when someone else comes in with a regular gift. Guests who bring in a gift feel a little underappreciated because they could've just as easily brought a $20 instead of feeling silly carrying in a package when no one else brought one.

While a money tree is not inappropriate for smaller weddings without wedding registries, the bride and groom must make sure that all guests are aware of this preference. As far as asking for money goes, view this modern wedding etiquette post to find out how to ask for cash wedding gifts.

Some couples announce that they would rather have a charitable donation made in lieu of gifts. Since this is not asking for money but rather asking that money go to a cause, this is a generally accepted practice.

Ask The Celebration Advisor: How could I eloquently ask for cash gifts and/or store certificatest instead of presents at the wedding? ~ Casey

The Celebration Advisor: Typically, giving cash wedding gifts is a big no-no according to traditional wedding etiquette. However, modern weddings are seeing a huge spike in the request for cash gifts or gift cards instead of presents. Don't stress about cash wedding gift etiquette though! When you're in a pinch and need to find out how to go about asking for cash instead, simply remember these things.

* You will want to make this request where you would have announced your registry. It is also a traditional duty of the maid of honor and best man to spread this information around. Make sure those two parties are aware of your wedding gift suggestion as well.

* You can politely request money without asking for cash outright which would likely offend older guests. Instead, list things like these where you would normally announce your registry:

• "Bride and groom respectfully request cash gifts in lieu of wedding presents."
• "Bride and groom respectfully request cash gifts or gift cards to *your favorite 'home' store* in lieu of wedding presents."

You can also substitute your name and your groom's name for "bride and groom" as this will personalize it a bit. Keep in mind though that personalization is great for younger guests but maintaining a more traditional tone will help soften any offense that older guests may have.

* You can announce that you will be having a cash money tree at your wedding/wedding reception instead of wedding gifts. I have been to many weddings that prefer this option because it's fast and easy. Still, guests should be warned in advance.

I hope your wedding goes as smoothly as announcing your cash wedding gift preference. Best of luck!

Ask The Wedding Guide: I just got invited to a wedding. I work with the girl and we're friends but we're not super close. I'm going to be out of town that weekend and will not be attending. Am I still required to send a wedding gift?  Sarah Lynn from Tulsa:

The Wedding Guide: Thankfully, this is a more cut-and-dried wedding etiquette issue than most would expect. The simplest answer is yes, it is polite to send a wedding gift. However, there are situations where it would be ok to refrain from purchasing a wedding gift. Here's how you can tell pretty quickly:

Yes, Buy A Gift

• I received a wedding invitation
• I am good friends with the bride/groom/family

No, It's OK To Not Buy A Gift

• We haven't spoken in years or many months
• We haven't seen each other in years or many months
• I received a wedding announcement, not an invitation
• I was told about the wedding but have not received an invitation
• I was told about the wedding through a third party
• I was asked not to buy a gift
• The couple is accepting money only or has a money tree at the reception

In your situation Sarah Lynn, you received an invitation from a good friend. Your absence is unfortunate but wedding etiquette suggests purchasing a gift for the new couple. It is acceptable to give the gift to her before or after work or before your departure at her home. Perhaps ask to host the couple at an informal dinner at a time convenient for all and give it then. You can make the giving process as simple or lavish as possible. For that matter, the gift doesn't have to be the highest priced item on the registry. It's the thought that counts in this case.

Ask the bride before giving a major gift such as wedding flowers, a wedding photographer, et al.

The matter of etiquette with which I'm concerned today is simple. It may seem like a "duh" kind of thing, but I found out the hard way that this is not always the case.

I recently attended a wedding as one of two photographers. Yes, there were two wedding photographers running around trying to get the best shots of the wedding. The bad thing was that we were not aware that we would be teaming up until we arrived. The other photographer was a surprise gift given to the bride the morning of her wedding!

Now while this won't typically happen for a larger wedding, some smaller ceremonies may run into this problem. The way to avoid a major headache like this (trust me on this one), is to ask the bride and groom if this type of gift would be appropriate. This should be done very early when planning a wedding as the bride will need to book services (florist, caterer, photographer, etc) well in advance.

This courtesy also avoids another source of conflict. Perhaps the bride's family is paying for the wedding. This is very traditional. For a family that encourages traditional values, the size of your gesture may come across as "stepping on toes." Then again, the couple may be paying for the wedding and welcome the relief. Therefore, it is necessary and quite advisable to discuss these types of wedding gifts with the bride and groom well in advance of the big day.