The Celebration Advisor: Honestly, it's not a good idea. You won't get scolded by the wedding etiquette gods, but you may burn a few bridges with friends. To prevent any hurt feelings, wedding etiquette dictates that you should avoid this if at all possible. One solution is to find a bigger reception hall in San Jose or near there. Another solution is to narrow the guest list to the 175 most essential people. Since this will definitely hurt feelings, my best advice is to opt for a large reception hall. Otherwise, you'll have a lot of offended people to deal with after the honeymoon and who wants that?

The Celebration Advisor: Wedding reception seating etiquette can be a tricky issue, but it's best to keep in mind the golden rule of head table seating:  the head table is reserved for the bride, groom, and wedding party. This includes groomsmen and bridesmaids. While parents and grandparents may have a table reserved for them, it is typically a separate table situated close to the head table.

Here are a few other etiquette tips for wedding reception seating. Hopefully this will clear up many issues that you may have.

Order of Seating at Head Table — Regardless of the shape of the head table, the order of seating always allows for the maid/matron of honor to sit on the groom's left and the best man to sit on the bride's right. Spouses may sit with members of the wedding party if space is available at the head table. If not, spouses (and sometimes children) are seated together at a separate table.

Seating Parents and Grandparents — Parents and grandparents are usually seated at the same table. The bride's parents and grandparents are seated together, often with their children, children's spouses, and grandchildren if space is available. The groom's parents and grandparents are seated at another table, often with their children, children's spouses, and grandchildren if space is available. If space is an issue, families are seated together accordingly (parents and children along with any additional guests of that group).

Seating the Minister — The minister and his or her spouse are generally seated at the table of the bride's parents. Grandparents may also be seated at this table as it is common to seat families together.

Seating Divorced Parents — This one is not as tricky as you would expect. Divorced parents and couples (remarried or not) should not be seated at the same table unless their relationship is exceptionally jovial. All divorced partners and their new spouses are seated as individual families. (i.e. the married couple, their children, their parents, and any additional guests of that group).

The Celebration Advisor: Nope, you sure don't. BUT–and it's a pretty big But–it's expected in many families. Wedding etiquette is pretty solid about this. It's that pesky human element that makes discussing this with your groom so important.

If your groom has only one or two sisters, it may be a negative reflection on you to not include them. So before you get those "why can't she spare just one spot for her new sister" glares, consider whether hurt feelings will affect your new in-laws before making your decision. Wedding etiquette is on your side, but these will be your in-laws forever.

Another idea that may spare you a lot of problems is to include his siblings in other roles. For instance, sisters of a young age can be flower girls, guest book attendants, candle lighters and other roles. These are significant enough for the girls to feel special but you will not have to sacrifice bridesmaids spots.

If his sisters are older, it gets a bit more complicated. You can still offer to have them serve as wedding attendants but not necessarily members of the immediate wedding party.

The most important thing is to discuss this with your groom. If he seems sympathetic, use that to your advantage by placing your new sisters in a lesser role. If he seems offended or stresses that they may be, you may have to compromise on this and use them in your wedding party. He knows his family the best and wants to make you happy. With both of those things weighing on his decision, it should be a very good one when he finally addresses the issue.

Oh, and remember that this particular wedding etiquette issue works both ways. The same should be considered if the groom is asked to include his fiancee's siblings in the wedding party.

The Celebration Advisor: Giving the bride away is an honor usually reserved for the father, but this too has received many amendments as modern brides shift toward personalized weddings and respecting the roles of blended families. For your friend's wedding, it is perfectly acceptable for her father to say "her mother and I do" if the bride wishes. As this is merely personalizing the wedding and honoring a loved one, your friend is not breaking any strict etiquette rules by using "her mother and I do".

There are also other ways that couples are choosing to honor deceased loved ones. Your friend may wish to include something like this as well.

• Set up a memorial table for the deceased loved one that includes a photo and a small card with a sweet poem or a memento
• Have a moment of silence during the ceremony  (usually at the beginning of the ceremony before/directly after the bride is presented)
• Light a candle in the deceased's honor
• Wear something that once belonged to or honors the deceased (such as a necklace, the mother's veil, etc.)
• Have the father-of-the bride present a flower to the couple as he places the bride's hand in the grooms (the flower represents the loved one)

There are also ways to honor a loved one during the wedding reception:

• Ask guests for a charitable contribution in the deceased's name in lieu of wedding gifts
• Include the deceased in a wedding toast, or let the toastmaster know that this would be nice
• Choose the deceased's favorite wedding cake flavor, place a small note beside the cake explaining this
• Cutting a piece of cake in honor of the deceased and either eating it later or presenting it to the surviving spouse

These are all very special and significant ways to honor someone who has passed before the time of the wedding ceremony. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a bride or groom wanting to honor their loved one. Including a small token of affection such as the ones above will help make the day feel "complete" for all who wish the deceased could've been present on the special day.

For more ideas on how to honor loved ones at your wedding, you may be interested in these brief articles:

Eight Unique Ways To Personalize Your Wedding
Honoring Others On Your Wedding Day

Celebration Advisor

You do have quite the dilemma.  As a parent, you want to give your child everything they want and deserve.  When your child is an adult, it is harder to do this without seeming like you are trying to control the situation.  So, the answer to your question boils down to the relationship you have with your daughter and your part in the argument she had with her father.  If you had nothing to do with the argument, it is perfectly acceptable to act as an mediator between the two.

Before doing so, I would first ask myself a few questions. Do you have a cordial relationship with her father? Do you speak to him on an occasional basis? Does he want a relationship his daughter?  If the answers are basically yes.  You can certainly act as a mediator for the two of them.

I would begin with your daughter.  Have a frank and open conversation with her.  Not every wedding ceremony involves the father giving the bride away.  Discuss the options with her. Giving the bride away can be an honor held by someone other than the biological father.  She can have you, a favorite uncle, a special grandfather or a family friend give her away. It may even help her to understand the wedding tradition behind giving the bride away.  But if down deep in her heart her wedding will only be complete if her father gives her away, let her know that you are will to speak to her father for her.

Communication between you and your daughter is the key in this situation.  As long as she is ok with you discussing the wedding with her father, it will be perfectly acceptable for you to do so.

May her wedding be the happiest day of her life.

The Celebration Advisor: We see it in movies all of the time. Guys and girls are best friends and forsake same-gender friendships. These are usually the romantic comedies that end up with those friends getting together in the end. They're fun to watch and oddly enough are beginning to skew the way traditional wedding etiquette affects the "best man" honor.

Yes, it's acceptable but there are obviously many things to consider before giving this honor to your best friend. First, is your best gal pal willing to take up the duties of the best man? She won't be wearing a tuxedo so she won't be at the fittings and likely will not be dealing with them. Therefore, responsibilities like these will fall to you or another groomsmen. If you can overlook this, go for it.

Also, consider your fiance's feelings. What does she think? Is she ok with it? Would she rather have her as a bridesmaid? Because of those crazy romantic movies, this is something that requires serious conversation before action is taken. If your fiancee feels that it is a nice gesture, you've found an incredible woman and are lucky to have two great women in your life!

Do you have a brother or best guy friend who will feel slighted? If the answer is no, you are not in the wrong to make a woman your best man. If you do have males who would better fit the role, give this consideration before making your decision.

The simplest answer is that yes you can make a woman your best man but there are far too many things to consider first for it to be an easy choice to make.

Celebration Advisor Reply:

Normal etiquette dictates that parents of children included in the wedding party are responsible for the clothing and transportation.  However, your case turns a black issue into a gray one.  A common sense approach would say – since he is their parent and it is his daughter's wedding, your ex-husband should pay for the outfits.

However, he may want more than a common sense resolution to this dilemma. I suggest viewing this case as you would other child compensation issues when it comes to special events that involve only one parent.  For example, who would pay for the snorkeling gear for a beach vacation the children take with you.  On the flip side, who would pay for the ski outfits for a skiing vacation the children take with him.  This situation should be approached the same way and will satisfy proper etiquette rules at the same time.

Hopefully, you and your ex-husband will be able to come to fair and equitable terms.

This wedding etiquette tip was brought to you by weddingandpartynetwork.com, you number 1 source for wedding planning.

For a Catholic wedding ceremony on Long Island, NY, in the wedding processional, what side of the aisle does the bride's father walk on when he escorts the bride down the aisle? I've gotten different answers to this question. Sheila

Wedding Expert Reply:

According to the Catholic Rites of Marriage, the procession should be as follows:

Lectors, and altar servers go first, followed by the priest, and then the bride and bridegroom.  Their parents and two witnesses may escort the bride and groom as dictated by local custom.

However, in the United States, the bride is usually escorted by her father with the bride on the left and the father on the right.  I suggest consulting with the priest who will be officiating the wedding ceremony.  Each parish may have its preferred wedding procession tradition.

The Celebration Advisor: Unfortunately for your caterer, there is no magic number of guests at the rehearsal dinner. Fortunately, there are a few hard and fast wedding etiquette rules that will help you narrow that number down for your vendors. First, your wedding party and their dates/families are definitely invited to the rehearsal dinner. This includes the bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honor, best man and their respective dates. Unless otherwise specified, families are usually accepted. Most of the time this is an adult-only gathering but that preference is completely yours.

Out of town guests are often invited to the rehearsal dinner also. This gives them a chance to visit with the bride and groom before the ceremony. Since there is no time after the wedding and little time on the day of, this is a great chance to keep out of town guests from feeling slighted.

Aside from the wedding party and guests, most couples want their parents and grandparents there. Immediate family is a definite if they are available to attend.

Rehearsal dinners can be anywhere from 5-50 people. Just keep in mind that, according to traditional wedding etiquette, the people invited to the wedding rehearsal will always include:

• Parents, grandparents and other immediate family
• Out of town guests (if applicable)
• The wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc,)

Have a great time and don't forget to come back to Wedding And Party Network to share your engagement party photos with us!

Keep in mind that modern wedding etiquette is constantly changing to reflect the needs of a new and diverse group of Echo Boomer Brides. Many couples are opting for store certificates, gift cards or cash instead of wedding presents. This may not set well with older guests, but younger wedding guests will be ok with asking for cash wedding gifts.

I've attended very few weddings where money trees were used. However, these are not entirely inappropriate. Money trees are usually used where there is no registry. Also, guests are warned ahead of time that a money tree will be presented at the reception instead of other wedding gifts. In this way, no guests are inconvenienced by forgetting to bring cash. Guests who bring gifts will not feel foolish nor will guests who fail to bring a gift.

Quite honestly, issues like this happen a lot when money trees are used. Guests who do not bring a wedding gift and provide cash instead feel like a heel when someone else comes in with a regular gift. Guests who bring in a gift feel a little underappreciated because they could've just as easily brought a $20 instead of feeling silly carrying in a package when no one else brought one.

While a money tree is not inappropriate for smaller weddings without wedding registries, the bride and groom must make sure that all guests are aware of this preference. As far as asking for money goes, view this modern wedding etiquette post to find out how to ask for cash wedding gifts.

Some couples announce that they would rather have a charitable donation made in lieu of gifts. Since this is not asking for money but rather asking that money go to a cause, this is a generally accepted practice.