Is An At-Home Wedding for You?

Whether you're saying 'I do' in your living room, or you're having a backyard wedding, at-home weddings are a challenge. A couple of weeks before our at-home wedding, our neighbor placed a big, honking boatlift on his beach. This wasn't any old boatlift. It was a rickety, rusty eyesore.

I wouldn't have cared. Honest. It's just that my husband-to-be and I spent months getting our lakefront home ready for our backyard wedding. This involved adding flowerbeds, planting a truckload of ever-thirsty impatiens (more on those later), power washing, and even painting.

I envisioned my guests mingling on the spotless deck, cocktails in hand, a soft breeze from Lake Erie cooling their sun-exposed skin. I pictured sailboats in the distance, a beach free of garbage and smelly dead things and an unobstructed view of Fermi II (that's the nuclear power plant across the lake). I did not forsee a rusty, contraption of a boatlift to be part of the picture.

So, I traipsed on over to my neighbor's house and told him we were getting married and we were having an at-home wedding. And by the way, can you move your boatlift, because it won't look nice in my wedding photos? (The nerve of me!)

Our wedding day came and went, and the boatlift didn't budge. And you know what? It didn't matter. Not a single bit. I did not harbor bad feelings towards my neighbor, and he did not hold my temporary lapse of reason against me. In fact, the day before our wedding, he offered us the use of a wooden platform that we ended up using it as a stage for the Irish band!

Looking back, I can't believe that I was so petty. But that's what planning a wedding can do to you. Even a small wedding. It can make you crazy. Unrecognizable. The evil twin sister you didn't know you had can suddenly rear her ugly head. Heck, there are even TV shows about this kind of thing.

And having an at-home wedding can intensify the symptoms -especially if you are a perfectionist. There are so many extra details involved with planning an at-home wedding that it can be overwhelming for anyone – but especially those who have a penchant for perfection.

Not only will you be running around like a hen with her head missing trying to cross off the zillion things on your to-do list, you'll also want to make sure your home is extra-tidy, extra-lovely, extra-special for your extra-important big day. And that will take Effort. (Note the capital 'E' for emphasis.)

One of the first things Darin and I did when we decided to have a backyard wedding was head out to a local nursery to load up on flowers, and other bedding plants. In fact, we spent the entire spring and summer landscaping our property, which included planting dozens of flats of impatiens, as well as an assortment of perennials.

Through it all, I discovered a new passion – gardening, and I lost weight without even trying! (Hauling wheelbarrows full of earth day after day will get you in shape pretty fast!)I also discovered that impatiens and a scorching hot summer climate make for a very LARGE water bill.

Even though we were having our at-home wedding outdoors, Darin and I decided not only to landscape the yard – but also fix up our house before the wedding. This included stripping wallpaper, painting, stripping more wallpaper, and did I mention stripping wallpaper? We had plenty of help from family, but Darin and I truly busted our behinds trying to get things in order.

Of course, not all couples planning an at-home wedding spend months fixing up their place. Some people don't lift a finger on home improvements. If that's the case, planning can be a whole lot easier.

However, there are still things to keep in mind if you are planning an at-home wedding.

1. Toilets. It's probably the least romantic thing about your wedding, but it's probably one of the most important. No matter where you decide to have your wedding, you're going to need at least one. If you are having your wedding at home, you might decide that guests can use the washrooms in your home. But after giving it some serious thought, you might change your mind. If you are having an outdoor wedding, do you really want your guests traipsing in and out of your home? Can your plumbing system take the wear and tear? Is it possible that your septic system will be overstressed, causing a plumbing nightmare on the biggest day of your life? (Ever see Meet the Parents?) After doing some research, we discovered that port-a-johns definitely aren't what they used to be. There are new user-friendly models in a variety of colors. Not only are they more pleasing to the eye, they have sinks and flush toilets. Even though they are more expensive, they were definitely worth the splurge.

2. Neighbors. Warn them in advance and give them a heads up closer to the big day. They might even offer up their driveways for parking – or a portable stage! Be extra kind to them as you get close to your wedding day, so that they will put up with potentially high noise levels from your happy wedding guests.

3. Invite your caterer over before the big day so s/he can scope out your kitchen. S/he'll need to know how much space there is to work in – as well as fridge and stove details.

4. If you are doing the outdoor thing, rent a tent. That is, unless you have a huge tolerance for risk. (Which I do not.)

5. Hire a cleaning person to clean your home thoroughly prior to your wedding – not to mention after your big day. Unless of course, you have a lovely friend or relative who has kindly offered to take on this task.

6. Have bug spray handy. Citronella candles might provide ambiance, but they are useless when it comes to fending off hungry 'mossies'.

7. If your guests like to over-imbibe, be prepared: some might want to crash at your house. We had a pretty tame crowd at our wedding, but like any good party, there's a chance this will happen at your wedding. If you're not equipped for sleepovers, be smart and call a cab.

8. Enjoy the journey. Easy for me to say – I got married eight years ago. But, really, try not to sweat the small stuff – like boatlifts.

9. Give yourself a pat on the back for pulling it off. Planning a wedding at home is no small feat, but it's one of the most rewarding things you will accomplish. Raise a glass to yourself – (and to your neighbor) for a job well done!

Christina Friedrichsen is the author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style and owner of IntimateWeddings.com, a website dedicated to small weddings.

A special thanks to:

Photography by memoriesINtime, a Milan MO photographer, for the beautiful photo of a wedding ceremony in front of a lake.

Hollyhock Flowers, a Weare NH florist, who create the fabulous flowers decorating the wooden bridge in the second photo.

Petals-a-Florist, an Atlanta GA florist, who designed the sensational pew markers in the third photo.

Have Your Cake and Top Too!

Colors! Cake! Flowers! Music! So many decisions! Anyone who has witnessed or is planning a wedding can attest to the multitude of design decisions to be made when planning a ceremony and reception. It’s a list that goes on and on. The location sets the tone for the event; the flowers add whimsy; photos, pets, and music add personality. Today, the amount of the opportunities for conveying individuality is ever increasing as the wedding industry has begun to acknowledge and cater to the qualities of each couple rather than imposing a one-size-fits-all ceremony.

Almost every aspect of a wedding day is available for tweaking. This includes the flowers, vows, bridesmaids dress, and endless other details. The reception carries this trend with everything from centerpieces to entrées, and even napkins. However, few parts of this day can be preserved and taken home as a souvenir of the launch of a new life.

One item that has become a shining example of personalization-meets-tradition is the wedding cake and more specifically the wedding cake topper. It was once the epitome of mass-produced tackiness that was the demise of past wedding ceremonies, and it is now a traditional piece used to display the couple’s identity, whether it is goofy, geeky, or glamorous.

The official origin of wedding cake toppers is unknown, and there are as many stories as there are choices. However, most historians agree that cake toppers can be traced back to the 19th century when the tradition of the bride and groom in formal attire symbolize atop the cake began. The trend took hold in America in the 1940s and has become a staple in wedding cake design ever since.

Like many elements of today’s weddings, the demand for unique wedding cakes and wedding cake toppers has led to a tremendous amount of choices ranging in everything from the quirky and humorous to the elegant and traditional. Even once a couple decides on a direction for their cake topper, they’re still left with a dizzying array of choices to further enhance their wedding cake design.

A popular option for many cakes today is to top them with a monogram of the either the couple’s combined initials or the first letter of their last name. It is a sophisticated way to display individuality and the uniting of two people. Couples can choose the font, size, and material of the piece. Ideas monogram toppers include for etched glass, cut mirror, or metallic materials. Some choose to take it a step further and add rhinestones, flowers, or crystals to add extra glitz to their cake.

For a wedding on a beach, a tropical-themed cake topper would be a great way to tie-in the wedding cake with the nature of the ceremony. Ceramic figurines depicting a couple in their favorite beach attire is a light-hearted touch to a normally casual event. There are also sculptures of beach scenes and items like shells and palm trees in a variety of materials. Like most other toppers, the design of these can be incredibly detailed, showing facial expressions, sand on the beach, or patterns in clothing, or they can be monochromatic, lyrical pieces full of movement and grace.

Wedding cake toppers for an avid hobbyist are ideal for laid-back ceremonies or grooms’ cakes. Golfers, baseball fanatics, and car enthusiasts can all find a topper to suit their interests and are sure to make guests chuckle. Geeks can also find their niche by choosing geeky groom toppers such as sci-fi themed or techie options. The possibilities are endless when it comes to finding the perfect topper to match a matchless personality!

Other themed wedding cake toppers choices include those for the sportsman, fisherman, musician, and the farmer. The list never seems to end! A great idea for a musician is a microphone-shaped cake topper or a music note. And the fisherman is sure to get a kick out of a bride and groom donning waders and fishing poles! Brides who enjoy shopping can find a number of choices of shop-a-holic brides, and grooms who enjoy a friendly game of golf can find a golfing groom to complement his game.

Religious cake toppers are another choice for couples who are devoted in their beliefs and want a wedding cake that reflects their faith. For example, grooms wearing kippahs are available for Jewish ceremonies, and lovely items, such as crosses and doves, are offered for Christian weddings.

What’s more, members of the military can even find a cake topper to suit their needs. If the groom wears his dress blues in his wedding, he can find a cake topper to match. Usually, highly specialized cake toppers such these are sold alone. By opting for the interchangeable cake toppers, couples can find a perfectly suited arrangement the fit their personalities to a tee.

Every couple is unique and together they possess a dynamic unlike any other. Modern wedding planning seeks to display that special something that makes them work so wonderfully together. Each aspect of wedding can contribute to this goal, including the cake. Choosing a wedding cake topper is another step towards making a wedding one-of-a-kind.

Contributor: Ashley Slayton

Looking for more helpful wedding or party information?

Wedding and Party Network can help you with all you wedding and party needs.

Learn more about Wedding Traditions, Wedding Tips, Party Tips and Ideas, Party Themes, Etiquette and more on our the Wedding and Party Network blog.

CAPTURE ROMANTIC FANTASIES WITH UNIQUE WEDDING IDEAS

You’ve dreamed of this day ever since you were a little girl—your wedding day. You’ve imagined wearing a magnificent gown and being the glowing bride carrying a beautiful flower bouquet. You’ve dreamed of the music, the lighting, the bridesmaids dresses, and of course, walking down the aisle toward the groom—the man of your dreams. Your wedding day is a day of dreams coming true and celebrating your love for each other. It should be a dream day wedding that you remember forever. Why not make it truly memorable by going above and beyond with one of these unique wedding ideas inspired by nature? Read the rest of Unique Wedding Ideas »

The Ease Of Destination Weddings

The average traditional wedding can take over 200 hours to coordinate and plan. That is not even including the wedding reception. Planning a destination wedding is not only less time consuming than planning a traditional wedding, but could keep you from going insane during the planning process. Whether it’s 500 or 5,000 miles away, your destination wedding, if done right, could be the most effortless and trouble-free planning experience of your life. This is why destination weddings are becoming so popular. Who wants to spend their entire engagement running around like a chicken with their head cut off, trying to figure out who has RSVP’d or who wants chicken or steak? An engagement is supposed to be a joyous time for you and your fiancé, and the wedding process is expected to be the same.

Why Use Destination Wedding Planners?

The number one suggestion in planning your destination wedding is to find Read the rest of Planning A Destination Wedding »