Is An At-Home Wedding for You?

Whether you're saying 'I do' in your living room, or you're having a backyard wedding, at-home weddings are a challenge. A couple of weeks before our at-home wedding, our neighbor placed a big, honking boatlift on his beach. This wasn't any old boatlift. It was a rickety, rusty eyesore.

I wouldn't have cared. Honest. It's just that my husband-to-be and I spent months getting our lakefront home ready for our backyard wedding. This involved adding flowerbeds, planting a truckload of ever-thirsty impatiens (more on those later), power washing, and even painting.

I envisioned my guests mingling on the spotless deck, cocktails in hand, a soft breeze from Lake Erie cooling their sun-exposed skin. I pictured sailboats in the distance, a beach free of garbage and smelly dead things and an unobstructed view of Fermi II (that's the nuclear power plant across the lake). I did not forsee a rusty, contraption of a boatlift to be part of the picture.

So, I traipsed on over to my neighbor's house and told him we were getting married and we were having an at-home wedding. And by the way, can you move your boatlift, because it won't look nice in my wedding photos? (The nerve of me!)

Our wedding day came and went, and the boatlift didn't budge. And you know what? It didn't matter. Not a single bit. I did not harbor bad feelings towards my neighbor, and he did not hold my temporary lapse of reason against me. In fact, the day before our wedding, he offered us the use of a wooden platform that we ended up using it as a stage for the Irish band!

Looking back, I can't believe that I was so petty. But that's what planning a wedding can do to you. Even a small wedding. It can make you crazy. Unrecognizable. The evil twin sister you didn't know you had can suddenly rear her ugly head. Heck, there are even TV shows about this kind of thing.

And having an at-home wedding can intensify the symptoms -especially if you are a perfectionist. There are so many extra details involved with planning an at-home wedding that it can be overwhelming for anyone – but especially those who have a penchant for perfection.

Not only will you be running around like a hen with her head missing trying to cross off the zillion things on your to-do list, you'll also want to make sure your home is extra-tidy, extra-lovely, extra-special for your extra-important big day. And that will take Effort. (Note the capital 'E' for emphasis.)

One of the first things Darin and I did when we decided to have a backyard wedding was head out to a local nursery to load up on flowers, and other bedding plants. In fact, we spent the entire spring and summer landscaping our property, which included planting dozens of flats of impatiens, as well as an assortment of perennials.

Through it all, I discovered a new passion – gardening, and I lost weight without even trying! (Hauling wheelbarrows full of earth day after day will get you in shape pretty fast!)I also discovered that impatiens and a scorching hot summer climate make for a very LARGE water bill.

Even though we were having our at-home wedding outdoors, Darin and I decided not only to landscape the yard – but also fix up our house before the wedding. This included stripping wallpaper, painting, stripping more wallpaper, and did I mention stripping wallpaper? We had plenty of help from family, but Darin and I truly busted our behinds trying to get things in order.

Of course, not all couples planning an at-home wedding spend months fixing up their place. Some people don't lift a finger on home improvements. If that's the case, planning can be a whole lot easier.

However, there are still things to keep in mind if you are planning an at-home wedding.

1. Toilets. It's probably the least romantic thing about your wedding, but it's probably one of the most important. No matter where you decide to have your wedding, you're going to need at least one. If you are having your wedding at home, you might decide that guests can use the washrooms in your home. But after giving it some serious thought, you might change your mind. If you are having an outdoor wedding, do you really want your guests traipsing in and out of your home? Can your plumbing system take the wear and tear? Is it possible that your septic system will be overstressed, causing a plumbing nightmare on the biggest day of your life? (Ever see Meet the Parents?) After doing some research, we discovered that port-a-johns definitely aren't what they used to be. There are new user-friendly models in a variety of colors. Not only are they more pleasing to the eye, they have sinks and flush toilets. Even though they are more expensive, they were definitely worth the splurge.

2. Neighbors. Warn them in advance and give them a heads up closer to the big day. They might even offer up their driveways for parking – or a portable stage! Be extra kind to them as you get close to your wedding day, so that they will put up with potentially high noise levels from your happy wedding guests.

3. Invite your caterer over before the big day so s/he can scope out your kitchen. S/he'll need to know how much space there is to work in – as well as fridge and stove details.

4. If you are doing the outdoor thing, rent a tent. That is, unless you have a huge tolerance for risk. (Which I do not.)

5. Hire a cleaning person to clean your home thoroughly prior to your wedding – not to mention after your big day. Unless of course, you have a lovely friend or relative who has kindly offered to take on this task.

6. Have bug spray handy. Citronella candles might provide ambiance, but they are useless when it comes to fending off hungry 'mossies'.

7. If your guests like to over-imbibe, be prepared: some might want to crash at your house. We had a pretty tame crowd at our wedding, but like any good party, there's a chance this will happen at your wedding. If you're not equipped for sleepovers, be smart and call a cab.

8. Enjoy the journey. Easy for me to say – I got married eight years ago. But, really, try not to sweat the small stuff – like boatlifts.

9. Give yourself a pat on the back for pulling it off. Planning a wedding at home is no small feat, but it's one of the most rewarding things you will accomplish. Raise a glass to yourself – (and to your neighbor) for a job well done!

Christina Friedrichsen is the author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style and owner of IntimateWeddings.com, a website dedicated to small weddings.

A special thanks to:

Photography by memoriesINtime, a Milan MO photographer, for the beautiful photo of a wedding ceremony in front of a lake.

Hollyhock Flowers, a Weare NH florist, who create the fabulous flowers decorating the wooden bridge in the second photo.

Petals-a-Florist, an Atlanta GA florist, who designed the sensational pew markers in the third photo.

Next to choosing a dress, choosing a wedding hairstyle for your wedding day is the biggest decision a bride must make. It is not exactly rocket science; up, down, or half up are the three basic hairstyles. With bridal tiaras, hair pins, wedding jewelry, and veils, we must use the wedding hairstyle to tie in all of the accessories in a classic fashion.

Wedding Hairstyles Meet Fashion and Accessories

When deciding how to wear your hair on your wedding day there are many different variables to consider.  First, and most important, is the style of wedding dress you have chosen and the neckline that it portrays. Depending on whether the dress is strapless, sweetheart cut, v-neck, or scoop neck, the hairstyle you choose for your wedding day may be changed.

If you are wearing a strapless wedding dress on your wedding day, and want to expose the collarbone and neckline of the dress, an up-do would be the best option to present the silhouette of the shoulders. Although up-do's are great for strapless dresses, wearing the hair down is very classic and also looks fabulous against the strapless neckline.

Sweetheart necklines are romantic and elegant in nature and look fabulous with a hairstyle that eludes soft curls falling from a half-up hairstyle. This hairstyle is very natural and when done with loose curls is very loving and romantic; perfect for the wedding day! Dresses with straps or sleeves are most elegantly accompanied by a classic up-do. In this case it all depends on how much of the fabric is detailed around the shoulders and neckline of the dress.

Plan Ahead For An Incredibly Beautiful Wedding Hairstyle

On your wedding day, a bride wants to feel as though she stepped out of a fairytale storybook, where everything, including her hair, is perfect. This is why it is so important to meet with your hair stylist in advance and discuss ideas and have a few practice runs before the big day. This ensures that everything on the day of the wedding runs smoothly and you are not disappointed with the final result.

Coming to a final decision on what hairstyle to go with on the wedding day may take quite a bit of thinking and coordinating with other bridal accessories such as the bridal veil and wedding jewelry. The most important thing to remember is when choosing a wedding hairstyle, it is best to look as natural as possible. Find a hairstyle that is similar to how you wear your hair day to day. The key is to look like a more beautiful, you on your wedding day; not someone who you aren't.

Coordination Is Key To Great Wedding Hairstyles

At your first appointment with the hairstylist, it is suggested that all brides bring a picture of flowers, the dress, any accessories you may be wearing, and maybe a few pictures of the ceremony decorations so the stylist can get an idea of the overall style of the wedding scenery.

The wedding hair stylist will be the most help to you in deciding which hairstyle is best suited for you. However, it is always best to take a friend or family member to the first hair appointment for advice in making a decision.

The wedding theme plays a large factor in selecting a wedding hairstyle and personal wedding accessories. Whimsical wedding decorations with flowing fabrics, delicate flowers, and feminine touches bring out a romantic ambiance that calls for simple but elegant wedding hairstyles and wedding accessories. More modern wedding decorations with bold colors and inventive décor call for more modern, edgy wedding accessories and up-do's. With pictures of the wedding décor, flowers, and wedding accessories, the hair stylist will be able to help you figure out which hair style is best for your wedding day.

Practice Makes Perfect Wedding Day Hair

You never see an athlete run a race without at least one practice run beforehand, or an opera singer bring down the house without rehearsing several times. To make sure everything runs smoothly on the actual wedding day, it is suggested that every bride have a trial run a few weeks before the wedding day. This means going through all the preparation phases: hair, make-up, and getting the dress on.

First of all, you want to make sure that the bobby pins and hair spray will be able to hold your wedding hairstyle for the length of time that the ceremony and wedding festivities will last. It would be terrible for you to arrive at the ceremony with your up-do unraveling as fast as you can say "I do". Secondly, you want to make sure you are comfortable. You may love a hairstyle the first few minutes of it being fixed, but after four hours of bobby pins pulling your hair in a million different directions you may have second thoughts. To make sure you are comfortable on your wedding day, have a trial run.

Pre-Wedding Pictures Are A Snap (And Helpful!)

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought "Wow, I look good!" and then reflected on pictures of that same night and hated them? Photos don’t always capture what you want them to which is why the pre-wedding picture session is so necessary. Pictures are a very important part of your wedding day. This is why it is so important to make sure wedding hair and accessories are perfect. What better way to assure your wedding photos are fabulous than to have a pre-wedding picture party? This could be done when bridal photos are taken, or just as a simple trial wedding photo session. By doing this you can rearrange wedding accessories, flowers, tiaras, and any other hair décor that might need to be adjusted for photos on the actual wedding day.

Selecting a wedding hairstyle can be a stressor, but as long as you follow these simple suggestions, you are sure to be confidently stunning on your big day. Choosing your wedding day hairstyle is the hardest part of the process, so when the big day comes, just sit back, relax, and enjoy being pampered on your wedding day!