Courting Before Marriage

Before you can have a wedding you have to have a courtship right? The Dutch certainly had a unique way to court their intended. It is called bundling or in Dutch queesten (kweesten).

This form of wooing is where a young lady would leave her window or door open, so that her intended lover could sit or lie on the outside covers of her bed.  At the same time,  she would lie in bed clothed in her heavy nightwear and covered heavily in blankets. The idea was for the two to converse all night and gain a bit of intimacy from each other.

This custom may have also been used in Welsh communities. However it went a bit further with the young lady dressed only in her petticoat with a knot tied at the bottom. This almost always lead to wedlock.

This custom continued on in the USA till the 1930’s where it fell out of style among those who had brought it over from the Netherlands. The Pennsylvania Dutch would allow their children (of age) to share a bed before marriage. Following the old custom both would be heavily dressed and also covered in heavy blankets. I suspect this happened more in the fall and winter then the summer. Sometimes a thick board would be placed between the two. Again the idea is for the young couple to share the night together talking and gain intimate knowledge about one another before marriage. It seems to have fall out of grace as it may have lead to actual intimacy.

Even though this custom is no longer practiced in it original form, we still do this courtship ritual our own way. Many of us spend a night or two with our intended talking all night long getting to know each other before our marriages. Sometimes we travel to a vacation spot as part of our courtship ritual.  The important concept of this wedding tradition is getting to know each other.

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]]> http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-traditions/wedding-tradtion-unique-dutch-courtship/feed/ 0 http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-traditions/vietnamese-chinese-wedding-traditions/ http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-traditions/vietnamese-chinese-wedding-traditions/#comments Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:23:57 +0000 Jamie Jamison Adams http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/?p=750 Yesterday, I received a lovely email from Thu Vu owner of My Little Work Shop.  She and Brynn were having a conversation on Facebook about Wedding and Party Network and how we discuss wedding traditions among other things on the Celebration…

Yesterday, I received a lovely email from Thu Vu owner of My Little Work Shop.  She and Brynn were having a conversation on Facebook about Wedding and Party Network and how we discuss wedding traditions among other things on the Celebration Advisor.  The conversation turned to multi-cultural weddings of which Thu Vu knows quite a bit about, since she is planning one herself.  Here is what she shared with us about Vietnamese/Chinese Wedding Traditions.

I am here to talk about the Vietnamese and Chinese wedding tradition. I am pretty sure that in America and in Canada the wedding would have a ceremony and reception. Vietnamese/Chinese tradition is different from the American's and Canadian's ceremony, which takes place at the church or somewhere else but with a priest, friends and families when you exchange your vows.

In the Vietnamese/Chinese tradition is that we have the groom's side of the family members and friends to carry lacquered, round boxes; betrothal presents to the bride's house. Only the males on his side would stand behind/beside one another (depends on what you're carrying)to carry the presents to the bride's house. You have to be unmarried and the guys that the groom may pick could be his own brothers, ushers, best man etc…

These presents are to be in your choice of betel leaves, areca nuts, wines, jewelries, fruits, cake tea, tea set, whole pig etc…you are to carry about 10-12 of these presents to her house. You may have double of the same items if you wish. The gifts are to be covered by red cloths.

The bride's side of the family members and friends are suppose to be waiting by the door. Their jobs are to collect the presents. The groom then would ask for the bride's hand in marriage.

The groom then are to place the jewelries on her. Such as placing the earrings in her ear and the ring on her finger. The parents/gram parents are to be seated on chairs, you are to take the tea while you are in front of them on your knees. You basically bow and give them tea to have a sip.

This tea giving is a very respectful thing to do when joining two families in one. I thank you for taking the time to read this. I will soon put some pictures up of my engagement. I am doing the presents giving and not the tea ceremony. The tea ceremony is used at the wedding. I attached some pictures for you, so enjoy!

What a beautiful tradition, both in color and in sentiment.  Thank you for sharing such a wonderful wedding tradition with us. The photos are amazing.

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We were playing "Dirty Santa" with my family when Josh asked me to trade gifts. We hadn't opened them but he seemed to know what was in the package that he held. I agreed to trade because he seemed really adamant about it.

I opened the package and laughed out loud. Inside was a big-mouthed bass. We both enjoy fishing. One of our first dates was fishing. I figured that he had supplied that Dirty Santa gift in hopes that I would get it. What I didn't know was that there was more.

Josh said that it was a new model of the toy and if you push the button inside its mouth that it would say something different and funny. Well, not knowing any better, I reached inside the mouth and didn't feel a button. I felt something hard. I pulled it out and there was the engagement ring! He dropped to one knee and proposed in front of my entire family who apparently were in on the secret.

I've been hooked ever since!

Hi there Ma'am, I apologized too for the delay of my replies. I have 4 weddings in a row this month and checking my emails is so hard hehehe. Anyway, I want to introduce first my self to you.. I am Levy B. Tkaczyk, a wedding coordinator/ planner for 11 years now. I am happily newly married last Feb2008. I just want to showcase my wedding coz i believe that its kind of unique and unusual.

Our wedding concept/ theme is a fusion of Ethnic/ tribal theme with canadian touch since my husband is from Canada. I live in an island here in the Philippines were the tribal/ethnic tradition is still intact. I am a Sociology graduate too and am fond of indigenous materials because i find it artistic and unique. Our Wedding Cake was inspired by different tribal groups of Mindanao namely Maranao, Higaonon and Subanen. It was 4 layered chocolate cake with 6 islands.

yes, Mr. Edwin Orbe is a professional photographer. He was the one who took beautiful pictures before and during our wedding. I recommended him also to almost of my clients here. I have a website too , feel free to view it ma'am.. mybrideandgroom.multiply.com —- i put some pics of my clients this year. we have a wedding website too its www.dannylevz.com, and we have some post nup pics at rlbphotography.multiply.com so till next, i am looking forward hearing from you soon Jam. thanks really for the email , it means so much. if there's anyway that i could help just let me know too…if its okay , i would like to link ur site too over my multiply account. please take care and God bless!

Well, the man of my dreams finally made his way into my life several relationships down the line. My sign had always been a very intimate dance. Not just any dance but a very intimate slow dance. I'd even had it pictured in my head.

Adam and I had been together for almost two years when we met up one day in a rather odd but central location. There we stood among one of the many cemeteries in our area where we talked about many different things including the death of my aunt only a few hours before. (Go figure huh, in a cemetery!)

I had made a mp3 cd for him containing some of our favorite songs and a lot of "our" songs. Kind of out of nowhere he puts in that cd, points it to the romantic songs, stands up and asks me to dance.

We danced to Edwin McCain, Elliot Yamin, and the song that is foremost in the "our songs" category which is "Far Away" by Nickelback because it was our favorite song on their cd which came out right as we started dating.

We spun around and around slowly, sweetly. He being 6'2" and me barely scraping 5'4", he even picked me up and held me with a big bear hug grasp as we swayed there in the middle of nowhere to our favorite songs.

It wasn't until later that year that we had the "do you want to get married" conversation but I knew from that moment on that I would be with this man forever.