Ask The Celebration Advisor: My daughter is getting married.. her father is deceased, adopted father is not coming to the wedding, I am married now, my new husband and I are the one's paying for the wedding.. there is an issue with who is walking my daughter down the isle or giving her away.. on her biological's dads side of the family his oldest brother was to give her away and backed out at the last minute.. I have two son's one of which is a US Marine and is being deployed the youngest son my daughter has issues with because she doesn't like his girlfriend…My daughter announced to me that she is going to have her soon to be brother in law (grooms brother) give her away of course this is not setting too well with me… what advice would you give on this???  ~ Rosemarie

The Celebration Advisor: Rosemarie, great question! Modern weddings are seeing a lot of similar occurences so wedding etiquette has adjusted to fit the changing family. In the situation you are discussing, it is perfectly acceptable to find alternate options for who will give the bride away. If you are unhappy with your daughter's choice, perhaps you could discuss options like these with her:

An important female figure in her life — More and more we are seeing mothers, grandmothers and important female figures give the bride away. This is especially common when issues with the fathers arise. Regardless of the issue with the father, it is entirely acceptable according to modern wedding etiquette for the mother or important woman to give the bride away.

An important male figure in her life — He doesn't have to be a father but he can be a father figure. The mother's brother, a brother, the father's brother (if the mother has none and the father is deceased), a very close employer, a best friend and other men are fine. Though her brother-in-law could fit into this category, it is still possible to address other options with your daughter.

Give herself away (walk alone) — You've seen it in movies. It may not be ideal but having your daughter walk alone is also an acceptable solution. She may not have someone to lean on but she gets to be the complete center of attention. This is usually reserved for when no better option is available like the ones above or if both parents are deceased. In special circumstances such as yours, having the bride give herself away is not a bad option.

There is one thing that wedding etiquette makes no exceptions for when it comes to giving the bride away. The person who gives the bride away should not be a groomsman or usher. They should fill no other role in the wedding party. It is not proper etiquette (or very fair) to ask this person to do "double duty" during the wedding. Even if they would agree, it's a definite Don't.

I hope you and your daughter find an acceptable solution and are able to enjoy the wedding. What a wonderful time in her life! Best of luck and congratulations to you both.

Ask the Celebration Advisor: I live in Chicago, Illinois and I want to throw a formal party outdoors. There will be a large attendance and I was wondering how to go about providing food and furnishing the event. Any suggestions?

The Celebration Advisor: An outdoor party is great to have, especially when there is food involved. As everyone knows, food tastes better outdoors. But to answer your question, a local Chicago, IL caterer could easily help you with those daunting tasks.

Some people unfortunately think that all caterers do is cook food for large amounts of people, which they do magnificently. However another role of a caterer is to provide a wait staff, bartender and chefs as well as various other choices for rentals from companies affiliated with the catering service.

Chicago caterers are able to cover every detail down to the glasses, plates and cutlery and color of the table cloths, to the disposable heating ware and serving utensils. Since your party will be outside, renting a tent or two would provide your guests with ample shade. Also available is the option to rent cooling equipment just in case your party is on one of those blistering summer days by the Great Lakes.

Above all else, the food at your party is key. Once you have chosen a caterer, discuss the many varieties of food to be served. Being outdoors, your event may benefit from food prepared on a grill. But don't worry, since parks typically do not have kitchens or the nicest of food preparation stations, caterers have the ability to cook on a portable kitchen. As an added benefit, guests would marvel at chefs creating intricate and tasty dishes for them to enjoy.

I like your idea of an outdoor party and hiring a caterer to help you with it would give your guests an event to remember and give you the satisfaction of hosting the party they just cant stop talking about.

Ask The Celebration Advisor: [I need a ] nice way of saying "no children under 2" at wedding. ~ Karen

The Celebration Advisor: Karen, don't feel like you're stepping on toes by not inviting children to your wedding — or in this case — children of or below a certain age. It's perfectly acceptable! Traditional wedding etiquette provides a few ways to make this clarification known without hurting feelings (theirs or yours!)

First, you can put only the names of the parents on the outer and inner envelope of the wedding invitation. This exclusion of "and family" or the child's name should be understood as "no young children allowed." It is highly inappropriate to put "no children" on the invitations. Some may not be as familiar with wedding invitation etiquette. If you get a call saying "we're bringing our children too", explain the situation at that point.

Though it is not appropriate to state this on the invitation according to traditional wedding etiquette, it is acceptable to include a small note (much like you would include a map with the reception invitation) that briefly explains that there is an age limit for the children in attendance.

If you want the parents of young children to come but don't want their children in the actual ceremony or reception, consider providing guests with the names and numbers of local babysitters. Another option is to provide a nursery with babysitters for the duration of the ceremony. If the parents want to attend the reception, they may have to hire a sitter of their own. Depending upon the ceremony location, this can be a agreat alternative that still provides an age limit for the children at your wedding but doesn't put a crimp on your guest list.

Ask The Celebration Advisor: I need to know how that the wedding march goes.  In this wedding one of the baby girls; a flower girl; is a new born and there is a little boy newborn and these two will have to be packed down the aisle. How would the match be performed? Please, we need help. ~ Pamela Sue, Stinnett Kentucky

The Celebration Advisor: Pamela Sue, thanks for your question! The answer is a bit tricky but I believe it will be very helpful when planning your wedding processional. Whether a religious or secular ceremony, typically the best man or final groomsman walks followed by the maid/matron of honor. Next comes the ring bearer first and flower girl next if they do not walk together. The bride follows.

Your wedding processional (obviously) is a bit tougher. While wedding etiquette uses these guidelines for the wedding processional, they are simply that—guidelines. If you would like to adhere as closely as possible to the standard order of a wedding processional, consider having the final groomsman or best man carry the ring bearer down the aisle during the processional followed by the maid of honor who carries the flower girl. Once they reach the end of the aisle, they may either continue to hold the babies, give them to the groomsmen and bridesmaid furthest from the bride and groom, or place them in carriers waiting on the front aisle. This order of the wedding processional does not conflict with any wedding etiquette guidelines.

Another option is to have the mother of the infant carry the child down the aisle while wearing matching attire. This is especially helpful if the mother is already in the bridal party.

There are a few things to consider when deciding who will hold the babies during the processional and ceremony. First, the maid of honor is responsible for holding the wedding bouquet when the bride is exchanging rings. The best man is responsible for keeping up with the rings before they are exchanged. If the best man and maid of honor are ok with holding a baby and a bouquet/ring, this arrangement will work just fine. Second, the first row is usually reserved for grandparents and parents of the bride and groom. They may make an exception in this case and choose to look after the babies during the ceremony or not. Either way, you have a lot of fun on your hands. But don't worry. Your wedding processional will go along smoothly!

Ask The Expert: I recently became engaged to a wonderful guy that I've been dating for a couple years. My family knows him well, and his knows me. They've kind of suspected for a while but aren't really sure. What is the proper way to go about announcing our engagement and who do I tell first?  ~ Sarah

Brynn @ Wedding and Party Network says: What a great question, Sarah! First of all, congratulations are in order so congratulations on your engagement. How cool! Now to the meat and potatoes.

Announcing your engagement to your family is a bit easier than writing up an engagement announcement for your local paper but can often be just as tedious. Who should be told first is asked a lot because no one wants to step on toes. In my family, we all know to tell just one person and it'll eventually get around to the rest of the family. Assuming yours isn't this way, let's talk about what's traditional. Continue reading "Ask The Expert: I'm Getting Married. How Do I Tell My Family?" »

Ask The Expert: I have been invited to attend a Kwanzaa celebration at a friend's house.  What do I need to know a Kwanzaa and what kind of hostess gift etiquette applies?

Wedding and Party Network: That's a great question! Many people want to help friends and loved ones enjoy Kwanzaa though they themselves have not celebrated the holiday. Enjoying Kwanzaa for the first time is also a significant occasion that merits special attention. Even those who have celebrated Kwanzaa for years can benefit from understanding the holiday's gift giving etiquette.

First, let's start with some background information on Kwanzaa. The holiday was founded in Continue reading "Ask The Expert: What Gifts Can I Send For Kwanzaa?" »

Ask The Expert:

Jackie in Bushnell, Florida asks:

• Not sure what the difference is between a coordinator and a planner is?
• Is the fee for the coordinator/planner included in the budget?
• What is the going rate for that?

Wedding and Party Network:

The difference between a wedding coordinator and wedding planner/consultant is more involved than you might think. Typically a consultant/planner is involved in Continue reading "What's The Difference Between A Wedding Coordinator And Planner?" »