Re-Connecting With Neighbors

As the end of summer quickly approaches and kids get ready to start back to school, this is a great time to re-connect with your neighbors by throwing a fall block party or back-to-school block party.

Vacations, family reunions, sports camps, games and all the other activities of summer keep many people on the go with not a lot of time for interaction with neighbors. But once school starts, families seem to slow down a bit and stay home a little more. Families play together in their yards and take evening walks to catch up on the day’s events.

Fall is a great time to chat with neighbors, and even if you’re new to the neighborhood and don’t know many people, a block party is a great way to introduce yourself to your neighbors. So, why not get together with a few willing neighbors and plan a block party to bring everyone back together?

Block Party How To:

Survey The Neighbors

Approach a few neighbors to see if they would be willing to help you organize the block party. Print a simple flyer inviting all your neighbors to help plan the party and distributor around the neighborhood. This way no one can say, they “didn’t know” or were “left out.” You can deliver one to each home with the date, time and location of the planning meeting.

Encourage Help – Lure Them With Food

Host a planning meeting at your home with light refreshments. Make sure introductions are made so that those planning the party know each other.

Set a date and time for the block party according to school schedules and holidays.

Assign people various responsibilities related to the party such as advertisement, food, recreation, set-up and clean-up.

Determine how much money you are willing to invest and if the group will divide costs evenly or if certain people will pay for certain expenses. It is important to be very clear about the financial part of the party so that there is no opportunity for misunderstanding and awkward situations that can affect people for years to come.

Pick Your Location

Decide where in the neighborhood the block party will be. Are there certain homes children gravitate to? Is there a house with a large yard and a pool? Is there a clubhouse available? Would a cul-de-sac be the best for safety reasons?

Pick A Party Theme

Determine what kind of block party you’ll have – essentially a theme. Are all your neighbors elderly people? Singles? Families with small children? Consider the tone you want to set—family friendly? An adult only cocktail party? A get-to-know-you relaxing atmosphere? The answer to these question will determine your party's theme.

Plan The Menu – A Party Must Have Food

Cocktails and appetizers? Potluck? Burgers and hot dogs? Grilled steaks and chicken?

Will everyone be asked to bring a dish to share or will food be purchased in bulk and provided so that no one has to bring anything? Do you need a caterer to take care of the food?

Remember, the purpose of the party is to bring neighbors together and bringing something to share gives people a sense of belonging. Don’t assume it will be a burden to have a potluck meal—many conversations get started over a great dish.

Decorating, Mingling and Entertaining

Decide how you’ll decorate. Block parties were a big part of the 50’s era, so why not decorate retro-style with galvanized tubs filled with iced-down beverages, red and white checkered tablecloths, patio furniture, and 50’s music?

Consider the ages of your neighbors and use decorations and music that would bring smiles to their faces. Choose one or two ice-breaker games to play. While sometimes a little silly, ice-breakers really do help to get to know new people or ones you haven’t interacted with much. Use stick-on name tags to help people remember names.

Provide games and activities for children (if needed). Entertaining the children gives adults more time to interact and it helps the children get to know one another, too. For small children consider a moon bounce, inflatable slide or pony rides.

If you have older children and teens, a pool is a great place for them to hang out and play. If you do choose activities such as these, adult supervision is a must so that parents feel confident their children are safe.

Create A Neighborhood Directory

Give your neighbors a Neighborhood Directory. Have someone take digital photos of each family on the block. Have the family fill out a card with address, phone numbers, email addresses, names and birth dates of each family member and compile all information in a Neighborhood Directory complete with family photos. Once compiled, hand deliver copies to each neighbor and thank them for participating in the block party.

This is a great time to get feedback from the party, as well as make another contact with your neighbors. The photo directory helps to cement who people are so that when you see them on the street you can call them by name.

In this day and time of high technology, busy lives, and people living more independently from each other, making the effort to have a block party is a great way to show your neighbors you care. You might be surprised to find that everyone appreciates knowing their neighbors, especially those who may be going through a serious illness, a family problem or are just lonely. An invitation to a block party might be just the opportunity someone needs to slow down and strike up friendships with those who live close by—our neighbors.

A special thanks goes to:

To the Montgomery, AL caterer who let us use the photo of fruit & cheese.  Thanks A Social Event Caterers!

To the Tampa, Fl caterer who let us use the photo of brightly colored chairs.  Thanks G Elliot Catering

Is An At-Home Wedding for You?

Whether you're saying 'I do' in your living room, or you're having a backyard wedding, at-home weddings are a challenge. A couple of weeks before our at-home wedding, our neighbor placed a big, honking boatlift on his beach. This wasn't any old boatlift. It was a rickety, rusty eyesore.

I wouldn't have cared. Honest. It's just that my husband-to-be and I spent months getting our lakefront home ready for our backyard wedding. This involved adding flowerbeds, planting a truckload of ever-thirsty impatiens (more on those later), power washing, and even painting.

I envisioned my guests mingling on the spotless deck, cocktails in hand, a soft breeze from Lake Erie cooling their sun-exposed skin. I pictured sailboats in the distance, a beach free of garbage and smelly dead things and an unobstructed view of Fermi II (that's the nuclear power plant across the lake). I did not forsee a rusty, contraption of a boatlift to be part of the picture.

So, I traipsed on over to my neighbor's house and told him we were getting married and we were having an at-home wedding. And by the way, can you move your boatlift, because it won't look nice in my wedding photos? (The nerve of me!)

Our wedding day came and went, and the boatlift didn't budge. And you know what? It didn't matter. Not a single bit. I did not harbor bad feelings towards my neighbor, and he did not hold my temporary lapse of reason against me. In fact, the day before our wedding, he offered us the use of a wooden platform that we ended up using it as a stage for the Irish band!

Looking back, I can't believe that I was so petty. But that's what planning a wedding can do to you. Even a small wedding. It can make you crazy. Unrecognizable. The evil twin sister you didn't know you had can suddenly rear her ugly head. Heck, there are even TV shows about this kind of thing.

And having an at-home wedding can intensify the symptoms -especially if you are a perfectionist. There are so many extra details involved with planning an at-home wedding that it can be overwhelming for anyone – but especially those who have a penchant for perfection.

Not only will you be running around like a hen with her head missing trying to cross off the zillion things on your to-do list, you'll also want to make sure your home is extra-tidy, extra-lovely, extra-special for your extra-important big day. And that will take Effort. (Note the capital 'E' for emphasis.)

One of the first things Darin and I did when we decided to have a backyard wedding was head out to a local nursery to load up on flowers, and other bedding plants. In fact, we spent the entire spring and summer landscaping our property, which included planting dozens of flats of impatiens, as well as an assortment of perennials.

Through it all, I discovered a new passion – gardening, and I lost weight without even trying! (Hauling wheelbarrows full of earth day after day will get you in shape pretty fast!)I also discovered that impatiens and a scorching hot summer climate make for a very LARGE water bill.

Even though we were having our at-home wedding outdoors, Darin and I decided not only to landscape the yard – but also fix up our house before the wedding. This included stripping wallpaper, painting, stripping more wallpaper, and did I mention stripping wallpaper? We had plenty of help from family, but Darin and I truly busted our behinds trying to get things in order.

Of course, not all couples planning an at-home wedding spend months fixing up their place. Some people don't lift a finger on home improvements. If that's the case, planning can be a whole lot easier.

However, there are still things to keep in mind if you are planning an at-home wedding.

1. Toilets. It's probably the least romantic thing about your wedding, but it's probably one of the most important. No matter where you decide to have your wedding, you're going to need at least one. If you are having your wedding at home, you might decide that guests can use the washrooms in your home. But after giving it some serious thought, you might change your mind. If you are having an outdoor wedding, do you really want your guests traipsing in and out of your home? Can your plumbing system take the wear and tear? Is it possible that your septic system will be overstressed, causing a plumbing nightmare on the biggest day of your life? (Ever see Meet the Parents?) After doing some research, we discovered that port-a-johns definitely aren't what they used to be. There are new user-friendly models in a variety of colors. Not only are they more pleasing to the eye, they have sinks and flush toilets. Even though they are more expensive, they were definitely worth the splurge.

2. Neighbors. Warn them in advance and give them a heads up closer to the big day. They might even offer up their driveways for parking – or a portable stage! Be extra kind to them as you get close to your wedding day, so that they will put up with potentially high noise levels from your happy wedding guests.

3. Invite your caterer over before the big day so s/he can scope out your kitchen. S/he'll need to know how much space there is to work in – as well as fridge and stove details.

4. If you are doing the outdoor thing, rent a tent. That is, unless you have a huge tolerance for risk. (Which I do not.)

5. Hire a cleaning person to clean your home thoroughly prior to your wedding – not to mention after your big day. Unless of course, you have a lovely friend or relative who has kindly offered to take on this task.

6. Have bug spray handy. Citronella candles might provide ambiance, but they are useless when it comes to fending off hungry 'mossies'.

7. If your guests like to over-imbibe, be prepared: some might want to crash at your house. We had a pretty tame crowd at our wedding, but like any good party, there's a chance this will happen at your wedding. If you're not equipped for sleepovers, be smart and call a cab.

8. Enjoy the journey. Easy for me to say – I got married eight years ago. But, really, try not to sweat the small stuff – like boatlifts.

9. Give yourself a pat on the back for pulling it off. Planning a wedding at home is no small feat, but it's one of the most rewarding things you will accomplish. Raise a glass to yourself – (and to your neighbor) for a job well done!

Christina Friedrichsen is the author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style and owner of IntimateWeddings.com, a website dedicated to small weddings.

A special thanks to:

Photography by memoriesINtime, a Milan MO photographer, for the beautiful photo of a wedding ceremony in front of a lake.

Hollyhock Flowers, a Weare NH florist, who create the fabulous flowers decorating the wooden bridge in the second photo.

Petals-a-Florist, an Atlanta GA florist, who designed the sensational pew markers in the third photo.