While it’s customary for guests to bring gifts to the wedding, it seems by the time the wedding takes place, the bride and groom have received most of the gifts from their registry. What many couples just starting out need, especially in this economy, is money. There is an old tradition—at least in the South where I’m from—of giving the bride and groom a "money tree" at their wedding reception.

Now, this can be accomplished in many ways, but the basic idea is to have a table specifically set aside at the reception with a "tree" on it—usually a large branch—that is in the center of the table. Paper clips and small envelopes are provided so guests can clip their bills or envelopes to the tree. By the end of the reception, the tree is filled with monetary gifts to help the couple as they begin their life together.

The money tree can be a decorative focal point at the reception. The branch can be placed in a large container, weighted down with rocks and covered with moss. The branch could be sprayed white or silver, and you could even put mini white lights on it for a beautiful effect. If you’re having a wedding near the holidays, a miniature Christmas tree would work great.

I think this is an especially helpful idea if the couple has just purchased their first home. Gifts from the money tree could actually pay their first month’s mortgage.

This traditional wedding reception idea was brought to you by weddingandpartynetwork.com, your number 1 source for wedding planning.

I get this question a lot. Many brides want to know if they can ask for money or set up a money tree in lieu of other wedding gifts. Etiquette is pretty clear cut in this issue. It is traditionally very improper to ask for money as a wedding gift. The keyword here is traditionally. While It is not against wedding etiquette for close friends and family to contribute to the cost of the wedding, asking for money instead of a traditional wedding gift is a big No-No.

Keep in mind that modern wedding etiquette is constantly changing to reflect the needs of a new and diverse group of Echo Boomer Brides. Many couples are opting for store certificates, gift cards or cash instead of wedding presents. This may not set well with older guests, but younger wedding guests will be ok with asking for cash wedding gifts.

I've attended very few weddings where money trees were used. However, these are not entirely inappropriate. Money trees are usually used where there is no registry. Also, guests are warned ahead of time that a money tree will be presented at the reception instead of other wedding gifts. In this way, no guests are inconvenienced by forgetting to bring cash. Guests who bring gifts will not feel foolish nor will guests who fail to bring a gift.

Quite honestly, issues like this happen a lot when money trees are used. Guests who do not bring a wedding gift and provide cash instead feel like a heel when someone else comes in with a regular gift. Guests who bring in a gift feel a little underappreciated because they could've just as easily brought a $20 instead of feeling silly carrying in a package when no one else brought one.

While a money tree is not inappropriate for smaller weddings without wedding registries, the bride and groom must make sure that all guests are aware of this preference. As far as asking for money goes, view this modern wedding etiquette post to find out how to ask for cash wedding gifts.

Some couples announce that they would rather have a charitable donation made in lieu of gifts. Since this is not asking for money but rather asking that money go to a cause, this is a generally accepted practice.

Ask The Celebration Advisor: How could I eloquently ask for cash gifts and/or store certificatest instead of presents at the wedding? ~ Casey

The Celebration Advisor: Typically, giving cash wedding gifts is a big no-no according to traditional wedding etiquette. However, modern weddings are seeing a huge spike in the request for cash gifts or gift cards instead of presents. Don't stress about cash wedding gift etiquette though! When you're in a pinch and need to find out how to go about asking for cash instead, simply remember these things.

* You will want to make this request where you would have announced your registry. It is also a traditional duty of the maid of honor and best man to spread this information around. Make sure those two parties are aware of your wedding gift suggestion as well.

* You can politely request money without asking for cash outright which would likely offend older guests. Instead, list things like these where you would normally announce your registry:

• "Bride and groom respectfully request cash gifts in lieu of wedding presents."
• "Bride and groom respectfully request cash gifts or gift cards to *your favorite 'home' store* in lieu of wedding presents."

You can also substitute your name and your groom's name for "bride and groom" as this will personalize it a bit. Keep in mind though that personalization is great for younger guests but maintaining a more traditional tone will help soften any offense that older guests may have.

* You can announce that you will be having a cash money tree at your wedding/wedding reception instead of wedding gifts. I have been to many weddings that prefer this option because it's fast and easy. Still, guests should be warned in advance.

I hope your wedding goes as smoothly as announcing your cash wedding gift preference. Best of luck!

Ask The Wedding Guide: I just got invited to a wedding. I work with the girl and we're friends but we're not super close. I'm going to be out of town that weekend and will not be attending. Am I still required to send a wedding gift?  Sarah Lynn from Tulsa:

The Wedding Guide: Thankfully, this is a more cut-and-dried wedding etiquette issue than most would expect. The simplest answer is yes, it is polite to send a wedding gift. However, there are situations where it would be ok to refrain from purchasing a wedding gift. Here's how you can tell pretty quickly:

Yes, Buy A Gift

• I received a wedding invitation
• I am good friends with the bride/groom/family

No, It's OK To Not Buy A Gift

• We haven't spoken in years or many months
• We haven't seen each other in years or many months
• I received a wedding announcement, not an invitation
• I was told about the wedding but have not received an invitation
• I was told about the wedding through a third party
• I was asked not to buy a gift
• The couple is accepting money only or has a money tree at the reception

In your situation Sarah Lynn, you received an invitation from a good friend. Your absence is unfortunate but wedding etiquette suggests purchasing a gift for the new couple. It is acceptable to give the gift to her before or after work or before your departure at her home. Perhaps ask to host the couple at an informal dinner at a time convenient for all and give it then. You can make the giving process as simple or lavish as possible. For that matter, the gift doesn't have to be the highest priced item on the registry. It's the thought that counts in this case.

I get tons of questions asking me who pays for what regarding the wedding. Does the bride pay for this? Can I pay for that? Can I ask someone to pay for this? Is it ok that the bride's family isn't paying for the wedding? Though a small novella would answer all of these questions, here is a simple checklist to let you know the traditional roles in paying for the wedding. Thank you, Emily Post.

Who Pays For What? — Traditional Expenses of The Bride or Bride's Family

• The wedding consultant (wedding planner or wedding coordinator)
• Wedding invitations, enclosure cards, announcements (all wedding stationery)
• Wedding flowers which includes the bridesmaids bouquets, wedding bouquets, and any floral decorations for the ceremony and reception.
• Wedding photographer and photographs
• Wedding videographer and video
• Any music used during the ceremony and reception
• The entire reception (yup, this is the bride's responsibility in full)
• Bridesmaids gifts and attendants gifts
• The groom's wedding ring
• Carpet for the aisle, rental of awnings, etc.
• Cost of soloists and other wedding ceremony musicians/entertainment
• A traffic officer if necessary
• The bridal party's transportation to the reception
• Transportation and lodging for officiant if invited by the bride's family
• Any accommodations (lodging, fees) for the bridesmaids and attendants
• Sexton fees

Who Pays For What? — Wedding Expenses of The Groom or Groom's Family

• The marriage license
• Grooms gift to his bride
• Gifts for groomsmen, ushers, etc.
• Formal wear accessories for groomsmen if not part of the clothing rental package
• In some regions, the bridal bouquet
• The bride's going-away corsage
• Boutonnieres for the groomsmen, ushers, etc.
• Officiant's fee or donation (this is always a groom's fee and is different than accommodations)
• Transportation for groom and best man to and from the ceremony
• The honeymoon package and expenses(yup, bride gets the reception, groom gets the honeymoon)
• The rehearsal dinner
• Accommodations for groomsmen, ushers, etc.
• Bachelor dinner if one is being held
• Transportation and lodging for groom's immediate family
• Corsages for immediate members of both families unless bride includes these in her wedding flowers package
• The bride's engagement ring and wedding ring

Who Pays For What? — Wedding Expenses of the Bridesmaids or Honor Attendants

• Apparel and all accessories
• Transportation to and from the city where the wedding is being held
• Contribution to a group gift from the bridesmaids to the bride if being given
• An individual gift to the couple if given (being in the wedding may be considered one)
• A shower or luncheon for the bride if held

Who Pays For What? — Traditional Expenses of the Best Man or Ushers

• Individual wedding attire rental
• Transportation to and from the city where the wedding is being held
• Contribution to a group gift from the groomsmen to the groom
• An individual gift to the couple if given
• A bachelor dinner or luncheon if held

Who Pays For What? — Traditional Expenses of Out Of Town Guests

• Transportation to and from the wedding
• Lodging expenses
• Wedding gift

This may seem like a lot to absorb at one time. Don't worry about it! Print this list off and keep it for later. I hope this is helpful when you're creating the budget for your wedding. It's always nice to know who pays for what!

Ask the bride before giving a major gift such as wedding flowers, a wedding photographer, et al.

The matter of etiquette with which I'm concerned today is simple. It may seem like a "duh" kind of thing, but I found out the hard way that this is not always the case.

I recently attended a wedding as one of two photographers. Yes, there were two wedding photographers running around trying to get the best shots of the wedding. The bad thing was that we were not aware that we would be teaming up until we arrived. The other photographer was a surprise gift given to the bride the morning of her wedding!

Now while this won't typically happen for a larger wedding, some smaller ceremonies may run into this problem. The way to avoid a major headache like this (trust me on this one), is to ask the bride and groom if this type of gift would be appropriate. This should be done very early when planning a wedding as the bride will need to book services (florist, caterer, photographer, etc) well in advance.

This courtesy also avoids another source of conflict. Perhaps the bride's family is paying for the wedding. This is very traditional. For a family that encourages traditional values, the size of your gesture may come across as "stepping on toes." Then again, the couple may be paying for the wedding and welcome the relief. Therefore, it is necessary and quite advisable to discuss these types of wedding gifts with the bride and groom well in advance of the big day.

Wedding Registry Tips
Preparing the home for a lifetime as husband and wife can be as exciting and challenging as planning the wedding. To keep things simple and fun, below are 28 words to remember that provide excellent tips for creating the right wedding registries. Read the rest of Tips For Creating The Perfect Wedding Registry »

Gifts Your Wedding Party Will Love

Summer is undoubtedly wedding season across the U.S.A. Couples are happily “tying the knot.” To mark this occasion these couples often give gifts to loved ones that participate in their wedding. Often family and friends truly go the extra mile to make that wedding a truly memorable occasion – so it is important for a couple to show their wedding attendants gratitude in a special way.

Ideas For Bridesmaids Gifts

What would a bride be without her bridesmaids? Every bride counts on her bridesmaids from the moment she gets engaged to that very important walk down the aisle. Ideal bridesmaid gifts include Read the rest of Wedding Attendant Gifts »

Recently I attended a wedding and the bride had a dollar dance what is this tradition and where did it start?
Dollar dance, money dance and bride's money purse are all variation of a tradition which is rooted in the 1900’s. Polish immigrants to the USA, would pin a dollar to the bridal dress or would pay a dollar to dance with the bride. This money was a way to give the bride and groom some money for their honeymoon or to help in the cost of setting up their home.

We can’t be to sure of where the idea originally came from; but, it does seem as though it has ties to the Read the rest of Dollar Dance Wedding Tradition »

Registering For Gifts

Wedding gifts are traditionally given to celebrate a couple’s wedding. Gift giving is a sign of love and support for the couple. Registering for gifts takes the guesswork out of gift buying for guests. And that whole process has become much easier with the sophisticated gift registry systems available. Registering for gifts can be fun, but there are a few things to keep in mind to help the process go smoothly Read the rest of Gift Registry Tips »