One reason is it was considered bad luck for a bride to trip over the threshold of her home. This just doesn’t seem romantic enough. Certainly, I could see how this would be bad luck especially for the groom. After all if the bride became injured or mad because she tripped, it could make the honeymoon a not so pleasant one.

Further research shows, a slightly more romantic note. In days of old a woman was not to give up her virginity so easily. Thus the man would sweep her off her feet and assert his manliness over her carrying her off to the honeymoon bed. This way the women even though married would still appear virtuous. However romantic as that might seems, it probably is rooted more in the tradition of kidnapping of women (during Roman times) and making her a bride to her abductor.

In some cultures, it is believed one's family demons would follow the bride to her new home. To keep them at bay, the groom would carry the bride over his threshold. By carrying the bride over the threshold the demons could not follow or ever enter their new home.

In today's western countries, the custom of carrying the bride over the threshold is still practiced. I suspect, mostly, because it has been romanticized in TV and movies. Just a little tip for those who want to carry on this tradition – make sure the groom has been working out.

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Celebration Advisor

You do have quite the dilemma.  As a parent, you want to give your child everything they want and deserve.  When your child is an adult, it is harder to do this without seeming like you are trying to control the situation.  So, the answer to your question boils down to the relationship you have with your daughter and your part in the argument she had with her father.  If you had nothing to do with the argument, it is perfectly acceptable to act as an mediator between the two.

Before doing so, I would first ask myself a few questions. Do you have a cordial relationship with her father? Do you speak to him on an occasional basis? Does he want a relationship his daughter?  If the answers are basically yes.  You can certainly act as a mediator for the two of them.

I would begin with your daughter.  Have a frank and open conversation with her.  Not every wedding ceremony involves the father giving the bride away.  Discuss the options with her. Giving the bride away can be an honor held by someone other than the biological father.  She can have you, a favorite uncle, a special grandfather or a family friend give her away. It may even help her to understand the wedding tradition behind giving the bride away.  But if down deep in her heart her wedding will only be complete if her father gives her away, let her know that you are will to speak to her father for her.

Communication between you and your daughter is the key in this situation.  As long as she is ok with you discussing the wedding with her father, it will be perfectly acceptable for you to do so.

May her wedding be the happiest day of her life.

Courting Before Marriage

Before you can have a wedding you have to have a courtship right? The Dutch certainly had a unique way to court their intended. It is called bundling or in Dutch queesten (kweesten).

This form of wooing is where a young lady would leave her window or door open, so that her intended lover could sit or lie on the outside covers of her bed.  At the same time,  she would lie in bed clothed in her heavy nightwear and covered heavily in blankets. The idea was for the two to converse all night and gain a bit of intimacy from each other.

This custom may have also been used in Welsh communities. However it went a bit further with the young lady dressed only in her petticoat with a knot tied at the bottom. This almost always lead to wedlock.

This custom continued on in the USA till the 1930’s where it fell out of style among those who had brought it over from the Netherlands. The Pennsylvania Dutch would allow their children (of age) to share a bed before marriage. Following the old custom both would be heavily dressed and also covered in heavy blankets. I suspect this happened more in the fall and winter then the summer. Sometimes a thick board would be placed between the two. Again the idea is for the young couple to share the night together talking and gain intimate knowledge about one another before marriage. It seems to have fall out of grace as it may have lead to actual intimacy.

Even though this custom is no longer practiced in it original form, we still do this courtship ritual our own way. Many of us spend a night or two with our intended talking all night long getting to know each other before our marriages. Sometimes we travel to a vacation spot as part of our courtship ritual.  The important concept of this wedding tradition is getting to know each other.

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]]> http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-traditions/wedding-tradtion-unique-dutch-courtship/feed/ 0 http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-ideas/money-trees-a-great-way-to-give/ http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/wedding-ideas/money-trees-a-great-way-to-give/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:27:16 +0000 Jill Evans http://www.weddingandpartynetwork.com/blog/?p=583 While it’s customary for guests to bring gifts to the wedding, it seems by the time the wedding takes place, the bride and groom have received most of the gifts from their registry. What many couples just starting out need,…

Polish Wedding Tradition- Bread and Salt Blessing

The Polish wedding tradition of The Bread and Salt Blessing is a sweet tradition that can be incorporated into today's modern weddings. At the wedding reception the bride and groom are met by both sets of parents. The parents have a loaf of bread sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. The parents then say "According to our Old Polish tradition, we greet you with bread and salt so that your home might always enjoy abundance."

The bread is given in hopes that the bride and groom will never go hungry or be in need. The salt conveys that time may be difficult but they must learn to cope with the struggles in their life and marriage. The wine, as with the bread, give hope that the couple never goes thirsty and their lives be filled with joy and happiness.

The bride and groom each take a piece of the bread and a drink of the wine and then break the plate and the glass by throwing them to the ground. The parents then give a kiss to the couple and the reception begins.

Russian Bread Tradition

The Russians have a unique way to determine who the head of the household is. During the wedding ceremony or at the reception, the bride and groom are given a loaf of karavay (a small round loaf of bread). Someone holds the bread for them as they each take a bite from the loaf. Whomever takes the bigger bite is the considered the head of the family.

As with the Polish tradition the bread is also a symbol for health, long life and wealth. And after the bites are taken, the bride and groom take a drink as well and then break the glasses from which they drank.

Even though each culture has different ways to use bread in their ceremonies, the bread still has the same symbolization. That symbolization is what makes this these traditions so great. The Polish and Russians probably got the ideas and varied the ways the breads are used from the Romans. This shows us that the tradition, even if changed slightly, goes on forever, passed down from generation to generation.

How lovely that we can enjoy all the cultural traditions and differences and incorporate them into our modern days weddings.

Roman history shows that a couple was betrothed if they kissed passionately in front of a large group including family. In old world Christian culture, they viewed a wedding kiss as a symbol of the scripture – two souls becoming one flesh. However we can note that in Roman society, a kiss was used, as we do today, as a gesture of a commitment; much like we use a handshake at the end of a business deal. In fact during Roman times, a kiss given to another party was used to signify a legal contract. Yes, even for just a everyday business deal a kiss sealed the deal. So, a groom and a bride would seal the deal (marriage contract) with a kiss. Romans had three types of kisses; a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the lips and then a deeper more passionate kiss. I believe the latter was the wedding kiss.

Going back to the religious side, some early Christian’s believed clinking glass at the wedding or wedding reception would scare off the devil. After this was done, the couple would exchange a kiss to show joy and happiness.  Whether was done for religious reasons, contractual, reason the wedding day kiss is now a tradition that is sweet and endearing.

I am here to talk about the Vietnamese and Chinese wedding tradition. I am pretty sure that in America and in Canada the wedding would have a ceremony and reception. Vietnamese/Chinese tradition is different from the American's and Canadian's ceremony, which takes place at the church or somewhere else but with a priest, friends and families when you exchange your vows.

In the Vietnamese/Chinese tradition is that we have the groom's side of the family members and friends to carry lacquered, round boxes; betrothal presents to the bride's house. Only the males on his side would stand behind/beside one another (depends on what you're carrying)to carry the presents to the bride's house. You have to be unmarried and the guys that the groom may pick could be his own brothers, ushers, best man etc…

These presents are to be in your choice of betel leaves, areca nuts, wines, jewelries, fruits, cake tea, tea set, whole pig etc…you are to carry about 10-12 of these presents to her house. You may have double of the same items if you wish. The gifts are to be covered by red cloths.

The bride's side of the family members and friends are suppose to be waiting by the door. Their jobs are to collect the presents. The groom then would ask for the bride's hand in marriage.

The groom then are to place the jewelries on her. Such as placing the earrings in her ear and the ring on her finger. The parents/gram parents are to be seated on chairs, you are to take the tea while you are in front of them on your knees. You basically bow and give them tea to have a sip.

This tea giving is a very respectful thing to do when joining two families in one. I thank you for taking the time to read this. I will soon put some pictures up of my engagement. I am doing the presents giving and not the tea ceremony. The tea ceremony is used at the wedding. I attached some pictures for you, so enjoy!

What a beautiful tradition, both in color and in sentiment.  Thank you for sharing such a wonderful wedding tradition with us. The photos are amazing.

What Is A Cake PULL

A cake pull is where the wedding cake has silk ribbons with charms slipped under the last layer.  These charms are made of sterling silver. Traditionally the charms are a ring, a heart, a star, hot air balloon, and anchor, to name a few. These charms have symbolic meaning.  The charms are placed under the last layers and are made to easily pull out by the brides maids as the tradition goes.  If a bride’s maid pulled out the ring, this symbolizes a wedding in the future. A star symbolizes wishes come true while a heart means a new love.

Sad but true a friend of a friend decided she was going to do the cake pull tradition at her wedding.  Except she baked the cake pulls into her cake. (Not a good idea, it ruins the cake when you pull the charms out.) If you decided to do this tradition, please make sure you have the bakery put the charms under the last layer and I also recommend that they use some parchment paper between the cake and the cake pulls, this makes it easier to pull them out.

Modern Day Cake Pulls

I suggest using the cake pull tradition but not with the wedding cake.  Imagine the horror of someone pulling the cake pull a bit to roughly and your whole wedding cake falling to the floor.  My suggestion is to do it as a separate cake for the bridesmaids, maybe at the bridal shower, or as a novel way to give the bridesmaids their bridesmaid’s gifts.  You can personalize them by choosing charms that means something to you and your bridesmaids.

I also like the idea that the Bride's Mother and the Groom's Mother have their own Mother's cake and this is where the cake pulls are.  This idea works well for small weddings. The mothers buy the charms and have the cake made. As the guests come into the reception hall each guest is asked to do a cake pull.  Each guest then gives the bride the charms for her to put on a bracelet that the fathers have bought and given to the bride.

Don't you agree that the tradition of cake pulls needs to make a come back, of course with a modern twist?

This past weekend I attended a lovely morning wedding.  The ceremony time was chosen, not because morning light is so beautiful, but so the couple could catch an early flight to their honeymoon destination.  This made me wonder, where did the honeymoon tradition start?

Weddings have taken place in some form or another since the beginning of history. However, I wondered if early honeymoons were like they are now.  I doubt that past generations could afford to travel as we do now for our honeymoons.  So I began my own journey to find the answer to "where did the honeymoon tradition come from?"

In my quest, I found it had to do with the “capture of the bride" era. This era is known as marriage by capture and in some third world countries still takes place.  Historically "marriage by capture" is roughly attributed to the 15th century and considered the beginning of the honeymoon concept.  However, honeymoons may have occurred much early.

The honeymoon took place after the man captured or took his "bride". The "groom" would steal the "bride" away from her family and all others for a "moon's time" which is roughly 30 days.  Hopefully during the thirty days, the bride would conceive a child.  Forcing her family to “consent” to a marriage.

Why all the drama? For one, the groom was usually from another tribe and not likely to be given consented to marry the women.  Kidnapping was a way to force the issue and the thirty days gave the "groom" time to persuade the family.

Why Honeymoon?

During the 30 days of "marriage by capture", the groom would give his captured "bride" a drink of mead know as metheglin.  Mead is a fermented drink of herbs and honey. This drink made from honey and given to the bride by her groom during a "moons time" gives us the word of honeymoon.

Down through the ages as we have moved from a tribal to a civil society , the honeymoon tradition has given way to a more romantic sentiment.  Now the groom and bride plan a trip away from family and friends. Their honeymoon destination allows them to enjoy their wedded bliss.

History points to the "marriage by capture" era as initial reason for this wedding tradition.  Then the middle ages seem to have played at large part in the solidifying the tradition.  In the early age of civilization, people lived in tribes.  Often the men in these tribes would steal women from the other tribes and force them to marry. The stealing tribesmen would fight off the "bride's" tribesmen with their right hands whilst holding the "bride" with their left.  In the middle ages a knight wore his sword on his left side to be able to draw it with his right hand.  If he needed to draw his sword during the wedding ceremony, the knight would not want to draw his sword toward his bride but away from her.  Hence, the bride had to be to his left.

Biblically speaking we could attribute it simply to the idea that women and men were separated in the early churches.  The woman sat on the left side of the church and the men on the right. Some say that scripture could be interpreted that the bride should be on the left.

It seems that this wedding tradition has been claimed by many with a variety of reasons.  It may have begun the moment men and women sought a commitment to each and continues on today many, many millions of wedding ceremonies later.