Ask the bride before giving a major gift such as wedding flowers, a wedding photographer, et al.
The matter of etiquette with which I’m concerned today is simple. It may seem like a “duh” kind of thing, but I found out the hard way that this is not always the case.
I recently attended a wedding as one of two photographers. Yes, there were two wedding photographers running around trying to get the best shots of the wedding. The bad thing was that we were not aware that we would be teaming up until we arrived. The other photographer was a surprise gift given to the bride the morning of her wedding!
Now while this won’t typically happen for a larger wedding, some smaller ceremonies may run into this problem. The way to avoid a major headache like this (trust me on this one), is to ask the bride and groom if this type of gift would be appropriate. This should be done very early when planning a wedding as the bride will need to book services (florist, caterer, photographer, etc) well in advance.
This courtesy also avoids another source of conflict. Perhaps the bride’s family is paying for the wedding. This is very traditional. For a family that encourages traditional values, the size of your gesture may come across as “stepping on toes.” Then again, the couple may be paying for the wedding and welcome the relief. Therefore, it is necessary and quite advisable to discuss these types of wedding gifts with the bride and groom well in advance of the big day.
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