Ask The Wedding Guide: I live in Florida but my family and wedding shower will be in New York. Because it will be so difficult to fly with our gifts I dont’ know how to let my guests know what to give. I have thought about having a gift card shower? Is that common? How do you politely tell your guests in the invitation? Or do you have any other solutions?
Thanks for your help! Anna
Reply:
Anna,
You do have quite the dilemma but breaking a wedding etiquette rule is not a good idea. Wish lists or gift buying instructions are not by etiquette standards permitted on the invitations. Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that gift cards and money are not acceptable forms of wedding shower gifts. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get gift cards or money as wedding shower gifts. However, it is not polite to ask for these items. Your hostess should be prepared to answer these questions. Since you live in Florida and the shower will be held in New York, give you hostess a list of stores that reside in both places. You can give your hostess a wish list that includes gift cards with the understanding that if asked about gift cards they can acknowledge this as an acceptable gift.
You do have options that don’t include gift cards. Ship your wedding shower gifts to your house. To do this contact UPS, Fed Ex and the USPS for shipping rates and boxing prices. Once you have this information you can determine the most cost effect way to ship your items. On the day of your shower be sure to have several packing boxes available. Once guests leave you can place the gifts in these boxes, secure them and drop them off at the shipping company of your choice. This is a good time to write your thank cards. Or at least address the envelopes and insert a note of what was given.
Another options is to contact the stores that are located in both cities and discuss the possibility of piggy backing your New York gifts to the Florida store through their internal shipping system.
Remember respecting your guests is the most important thing. Do whatever it takes to make their gift giving easy for them and with great respect and appreciation from you. A little inconvenience on your part will go a long way in how others perceive you for the rest of your life.
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