Being asked to be the MOH (Maid of Honor) is a great honor that comes with a lot of responsibility. When you are the MOH, you must wear many hats to help make the wedding planning and wedding day run smoothly. So, before you feel too overwhelmed, we are here to give you an idea of what your duties are and how to navigate all the pressures of the big day!
There is no doubt that the bride is going to be under a ton of stress and some of that stress will be on your shoulders as well. As the MOH, your job is to keep your cool and help the bride navigate through the ups and downs of planning a wedding.
As the leader of the bridesmaids, your job will be to set an example for all the bridesmaids. It's important to make sure the people in the line can relieve the stress of the wedding; not add to it. So, you will have to act as a peacemaker between bridesmaids and also not to start any rifts either.
Depending on who the bride is, there are going to be multiple bridal showers that you will need to attend with her. She will more than likely have a bridal shower from her side of the family and one from her fiancé's side of the family. Your job at these showers will be to help with the gifts and to write down what the gifts are and who they are from so that the bride and her fiancé will be able to send thank you cards. You will also be there as an ally to the bride just in case any family members or family friends say something they shouldn't
Some brides opt to not take their bridal line or a lot of people with her dress shopping, but if she does your job will be to help her pick out a dress that is true to who she is. If her mom, auntie, or anyone there that tries to get her to buy a dress that you know she hates, it's your job to help steer them to her side. Dress shopping also means bridesmaid dress shopping. The bride will have a dress that everyone has to wear picked out, or she'll have some stipulations on what you can wear, and you and the rest of the bridesmaids will get to wear what you like. Making sure that everyone is okay with that and doesn't complain directly to the bride is also part of your job. Think of yourself as customer support.
This is one of the events that you get to plan and host! It's one of the more fun times where the bride and her friends can let loose and have some fun. Now, depending on the bride, you don't have to have a separate lingerie shower different from the bridal shower or the bachelorette party. However, the bridal shower is the time for the friends and family to give the bride supplies for her home like kitchenware and the bachelorette party is a time for the last hoorah! So you can plan the lingerie shower how you like. The lingerie shower is the perfect time to help the bride stock up on some fun outfits to wear on her wedding night!
This is the event that EVERY MOH is known to plan. In a way, this is your time to shine! This is where you might feel the most pressure because you're planning the bride's final celebration of being single before she walks down the aisle. You will need to have the itinerary planned, see who all the bride wants to invite (because it can be more than just the bridesmaids), send out invites, and ensure that the bride has a grand time!
Stay on Top of Schedule
There may be wedding planners or coordinators there that will be in charge of making sure everyone and everything stays with the schedule. However, on the off chance that there isn't, you will need to make sure everything runs smoothly. Start with…
This is not just you. This is helping the bride get ready, making sure the bridesmaids are getting ready, the flower girl, the ring boy, and if you have to: the groomsmen and the groom. Usually, the mother of the bride will be there also to help the bride out, but it's your job to make sure everyone gets ready on time to walk down the aisle at the assigned time.
PRO TIP: Assign duties to the other bridesmaids for the day of the wedding.
There will be some brides that do this, but you too can do it also. You can get the other bridesmaids involved and make sure they help out with some of the duties and need to be taken care of on the big day. Some of those duties will be…
Hold the Phone
If you know a bridesmaid that you can trust with the bride's phone and take photos, monitor texts, and upload some fun content on the bride's social, then assign a bridesmaid to do this.
Food, Food, Food
At some weddings, the couple will not have time to sit down and eat. They will be greeting guests, dancing, and mingling. By the end of the night, they may only get to eat two bites of food. So assign a bridesmaid to be in charge of getting the to-go boxes for the newlyweds.
The newlyweds will be leaving the reception at some point, and hopefully, they have already packed for the honeymoon. Assign a bridesmaid the job of making sure those suitcases are in the getaway car before they leave.
The wedding day is going to be a long day for everyone. Makeup is going to fade; hair will start to fall out, tears will be shed, etc. Having a small emergency kit for the bride is vital. There should be bobby pins, small hairspray cans, lipstick, tissues, etc. Anything you think the bride might need to make touch-ups throughout the day should be in that bag, and you should assign a bridesmaid to be in charge of that bag.
Now back to your main duties…
There's going to be a lot of things that you will have to hold during the wedding. The bride's bouquet, the bride's dress so she can relieve herself, gifts that the bride receives that aren't placed on the gift table, and so much more. One essential thing that you absolutely cannot forget to hold is the groom's ring. You will pass that onto the bride to put on her future spouse's finger.
Sign Your Name Here Please
As the MOH, one of the more serious duties will be signing your name on the witness line for the marriage line. This could happen during the wedding or after the wedding ceremony. Either way, this is your way of saying that you witnessed this marriage and agreed to it.
Help the Bride Change
Some brides will have two outfits: one for the wedding ceremony and one for the reception or for when she leaves in the getaway vehicle. It will be your job to help her hustle out of one outfit and into another.
Your Time to Shine
Aside from walking down the aisle, the number one spot that is important for you to prep for is the MOH speech. This will be your time to talk about your relationship with the newlyweds, how you met the bride, how great they will be as a couple, and wish them well on their journey.
Dance the Night Away
The best part of the entire day is getting to dance the stress of the day away, but to kick the dance off are some of the traditional dances. One of those dances will include the first dance for the newlyweds, and after the song plays for a bit, this is where the best man and the MOH will join the couple. In some places, anytime the couple dances together, everyone in the line will have to dance with their partners. So it just depends on the traditions of each couple.
Finish the Checklist
At the end of the night, making sure the bride has everything in the getaway car, the top layer of the cake is in packed in a freezer for their first anniversary, and the bride's bouquet and dress are taken care are part of your duties. You're wrapping the entire day up and putting a nice bow on top.
After reading this, you may think that being a MOH is like having a second job. While that is true, it's also a tremendous privilege to be asked to be a bride's MOH. So take a deep breath because you've got this, and hae some fun with your bestie!