Ask The Celebration Advisor: Please settle an argument between me and my mom. What is the best wedding dress style for a late afternoon fall wedding in Niagara Falls, NY? I want a strapless wedding dress but my mom says it needs to have sleeves. She says it's tradition for late-year weddings. Is that still the proper etiquette for wedding dresses or can I get away with wearing the one that I want? ~Nancy, Niagara Falls, NY
The Celebration Advisor: Nancy, I hate to admit this but you're both right! Traditional etiquette says that a full-length skirt and small jacket or sleeves is appropriate for a wedding ceremony during the cooler times of the year. This has a lot to do with what was socially acceptable at the time. Just as much of it was to keep the bride comfy. Also, a small wedding dress jacket can easily be removed for the reception but is seasonally appropriate attire. Sleeves can't be removed but no one said they had to be stiff and bulky.
In your defense, the modern wedding is all about the bride and which wedding dress style she prefers. While traditional values are still appreciated, there is no standard etiquette that brides are holding to these days. Most simply try to coordinate their hairstyle with the neckline of their gown, the style of dress they want with the formality of their wedding, the type of dress with the location and other important considerations. If it makes you comfortable and you think it looks good, it's perfectly acceptable in a modern wedding.
Consider These Beautiful Wedding Dress Styles for Your Fall Wedding
If you really want to go along with your mother on this, there are many beautiful wedding dresses with light jackets. Also consider lace sleeves or something similar. A long skirt can be gorgeous with many of the wedding dress styles of today.
- Mermaid style wedding dresses are form fitting through the upper thigh but then loosen into a more flowing train.
- Empire wedding dresses are usually made of lighter fabrics. They have a very short train that gives the bride a semi-formal look.
- Column style wedding dresses are very simple. They are usually floor-length gowns without a train. These are usually the preferred dresses for second weddings and semi-formal affairs. These can be easily accentuated with a light jacket and still maintain a very beautiful appearance.
- A-line/Princess wedding gowns are arguably the most popular style for modern brides. These are simple enough to allow the bride to move freely without 15 attendants for her train. However, they are also gorgeous and rather formal. They present the best of both worlds.
- Ball Gown style wedding dresses are exactly what you'd think they are. Picture Cinderella's wedding and you're on the mark. These have full, elaborate skirts and a less dramatic bodice. You really are the queen for a day in a wedding gown like this.
If you want to hold your own in the debate, you are right also. Modern weddings have less stringent traditions. The brides of today are able to wear whatever they want. Many are even wearing colorful wedding gowns! If your mother's argument is mostly that "it's traditional," you can respectfully disregard that advice. The modern bride's wedding is all about her and what she wants.
If you want to wear something sleeveless, that's fine. If you want to honor your mother's wishes and wear sleeves or a light jacket, that's great too. I recommend column, a-line, or empire styles if you opt for a jacket. All styles can benefit from one but these seem to be the most suited and popular. (That means easier to find!!)
My best recommendation is to find a compromise. Ask your mother if a sleeveless wedding dress would be ok with her. Perhaps something with thin straps but not strapless (works great with an empire style). This way you can still choose a neckline, satisfy your mother, and look beautiful on your wedding day.
Let me know which dress you pick! If your mother is anything like my mother, you'll look beautiful in a wedding dress with sleeves. *grin*
Before I forget…A shout out to the wonderful people who let me use their photos!
* The photo of the bride wearing a wedding dress jacket was provided by Photographs by Lawrence, a wedding photographer in Marietta Oklahoma.
* The photo of the bride wearing a strapless wedding dress was provided by Prange's Florist in Gainesville Florida (she provided the gorgeous bridal bouquet also seen in the photo).
Mine was a simple A-line, strapless but with a bolero. I guess you can opt to get a strapless one with a simple bolero then put it off on the reception. This way both you and your mom would be happy.