In most societies throughout history, marriage has been more about social and economic expediency than about love. Weddings were often arranged by a couple’s parents, when the bride and groom were still in early childhood, and were based on the families’ respective social standing and offerings. Even if the bride and groom had chosen each other, there were certain prerequisites before a wedding could take place. Sometimes the groom’s family was required to pay a “bride’s price,” essentially purchasing the bride from her family and reimbursing them for their loss. For her part, the bride often had a dowry, or an accumulation of possessions and money that she took with her into the marriage. All terms had to be settled before the marriage ceremony could take place.
On the wedding day, the father of the bride would present his daughter to the groom. He would then “give her away”, thus verbally acknowledging that all arrangements had been fulfilled and he was satisfied with their union. The bride’s family no longer had any legal claim on her, and she became dependent upon her husband and his family.
When a father gives his daughter away today, he is giving the couple his blessing for long life and happiness. Some brides wish to be given away by both parents: when the wedding officiator asks, “Who gives this woman to be presented to this man?” the father often responds, “Her mother and I do”. Alternatively, both parents respond, “We do”. The bride then turns to her husband-to-be content with the knowledge that her family approves of her choice.
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