Thinking of including your children in your second marriage? I say go for it! Being a child of a second marriage, it was important to me that I felt a part of the marriage. My mom married my dad when I was four. It was a small, sweet ceremony with just a few of my parent’s close friends. I remember it to this day. When combining families, you truly are marrying the whole family. Most children, like I was, are protective of their parent that is to be wed. I trusted the groom, but this was my mom we were talking about here! It’s a difficult time for a child to understand, but with these tips, it will make for a sweet communion in the end!
Your Kids Play a Big Part – We’re not talking just being the flower girl or ring bearer here. They can play those parts, but making your kids feel special in the ceremony is so important. The child is joining the marriage just as much as the bride and groom.
Make them feel important by letting them participate in the events leading up to the wedding. Keep them involved in all the fun that goes into planning a wedding, especially if you have older children. If you are enjoying the planning, your excitement will be contagious.
Save a Special Dance – Instead of the bride dancing with her father, make this time a special time between you and your children. Your child will be the center of your attention for those few moments and will always remember her daddy twirling her around the dance floor.
Keep Communication Lines Open – Combining families is never easy. Keep your kids in the loop by communicating to them the values of marriage, why you are getting married and what everyone’s new roles will be. As soon as my parent’s ceremony was over, I remember looking up to my new dad and saying, “Can I call you Daddy now?” Your children will appreciate the open and honest discussions you have with them. Trust will be established and affirmed with good communication.
Give Them a Front Row Seat – Your kids need to be up close and able to hear every word of the ceremony. Give them backstage passes to the day of the wedding, by letting them get ready with you. Make them closest to you so that they can capture all of the ceremony and remember it forever.
Give Them a Token That They Can Remember This Day Forever – Give your child a special gift that signifies their new part in the family. Gifts like a necklace for a girl and pocket watch for a boy are keepsakes that they can treasure forever.
Lastly, HAVE FUN! Your wedding is a celebration! Get your party pants on you AND your children, and make memories that will last a life time.
