Ask The Celebration Advisor: What is the proper order of the wedding processional if the bride’s grandparents and groom’s parents are divorced? Does the bride’s paternal grandmother or step grandmother go first? Does the groom’s mother or stepmother go first? ~ Marcie W.
The Celebration Advisor: Marcie, great question! The order of the processional can be tricky, as can be balancing blended families, so it’s very important to make sure that no toes are stepped on. Thankfully, wedding etiquette is constantly evolving to represent the shift from nuclear to blended families. In your situation, the order of the processional isn’t as tricky as you might have thought.
Typically, it is polite to seat immediate family members as they arrive to the ceremony. This includes grandparents. In this way, there are no toes to step on with grandparents. (For seating advice, see Wedding Ceremony: Seating For Divorced Parents and Grandparents.)
With parents, the order of the processional is pretty similar. The host (usually the mother of the bride) is seated last. This is to represent that all of her guests have been seated first. This is true even if the bride and groom are hosting the wedding. So, the order would be groom’s stepmother (escorted by groom’s father or an usher), groom’s mother (escorted by new spouse or usher), bride’s stepmother (escorted by an usher), and finally the bride’s mother (escorted by her new spouse or an usher). Even brides estranged from their mothers follow this order but alter the seating arrangements.
The bride’s stepmother is seated by an usher because her husband (the bride’s father) is busy preparing to walk the bride down the aisle. He will join his new wife when seated, however, typically in the second pew on the left.
Wedding processionals, seating, and hostess duties tend to favor the bride, the maternal side of her family, and the maternal side of the groom’s family after that. Therefore, the order of the processional (if all family members remain amicable) is as mentioned: groom’s stepmother, groom’s mother, bride’s stepmother, bride’s mother.
Thanks so much for your question Marcie!
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Olivia BAKER
Son is getting married. His Father left me over the phone after 25yrs. He is remarried to the Person he had been seeing. I too am now remarried. We DO NOT speak! Should I not be able to sit on the first pew w/my New Husband & my Ex w/his Wife sit behind us on second pew?
That’s perfectly fine. However, discuss it with your son to see how he feels about it.
My step daughter is getting married, my husband and her mom has been divorced for at least 15 years, she wants her mom and dad to walk her down the aisle, I think that is a little disrespectful for me, the tradition anyway is only the father walk the bride, what do you think
Grace
Hi Grace,
While traditionally the father walks the bride down the aisle, it is becoming more common for a bride to have both parents walk her down the aisle. It may be her way of showing unity with her family and allows her to honor both of her parents. Ultimately, it is the bride’s big day, and her decision to make. I wouldn’t be offended.
My granddaugher is getting married. At the main table are seated his father and step mother, the other grandparents and i am sitting off to the side,,, my wife is in a nursing home and cannot attend…is this a proper arrangement for the other grandparent???
Hi Arch,
There are several different ways to do the seating at the reception. Are both sets of parents being seated at the main table? If so, and since the other grandparents are being seated at the main table, traditionally you would also be seated at the main table. Sometimes a separate table is created for the “host” of the wedding, which would be the bride’s parents. In this case, the grandparents would likely be seated at this table. I would talk to your granddaughter and let her know your concerns. Hope this helps!
My parents are both remarried. However, my fiance’s parents are divorced and not remarried. Who should walk his mother down the aisle? His father will then be the only parent who doesn’t walk down the aisle. How/should we include him? Also who should walk my stepmom down the aisle, since my dad will be walking me? Thanks!
Hi Elise,
In this situation, your fiance’s father will follow behind as your fiance’s mother is ushered in and out. For your stepmother, an usher will escort her to her seat. Hope this helps!
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My stepdaughter is getting married and has decided to have both of her parents escort her down the isle. Does the job of standing to signal to all the guests to stand for the brides walk down the isle go to me? It would be such an honor..
Hi Denise,
Normally the wedding officiant will signal to guests to rise when it’s time for the bride to walk down the aisle. If you would much rather do that than the wedding officiant, then it would be best to ask the couple if they would like for you to do that.
My son is marrying a woman that has her mom and her stepmom. I was advised that the mother of the bride picks the color of her gown first and that I should not wear the same color. My question to you is, do I also have to wait and see what color the stepmother picks as well?
Hi Jane,
I would suggest waiting for the stepmom as well. You can also talk to the bride and see if she has a preference or you can all go dress shopping together!
The son of my partner od 9 years is getting married this year. Mother is f the groom is not in a relationship. We all have spent many occasions together ain unison. My concern is that now thhat the wedding is drawing nearer, the groom and his mother and siblings are doing everything in their power to exclude me. I am better no treated as a guest without even a thought. We were just told that the grooms father will be walking grandma down the aisle. I have no problem with that whatsoever. Who walks me down? Do I walk with an usher? The grooms father wants to walk his mother and I down the aisle together. I feel torn because I do not want to make waves. The entire family has argued over me and I am not feeling very welcomed to even attend .
Hey Maureen,
Traditionally, the groom’s father would walk his current spouse down the aisle. Ultimately, though, it is the bride and groom’s day, so it should be up to them who walks down the aisle. Have a discussion with them and find out what they would want!
My bonus son is getting married in the summer. We will be paying for the bar and odd things his mother is paying for his tux and some odd things as well. That is all we have been included in. I would love to get my future bonus daughter-in-law and her bridesmaids a little something special from myself. I am close to her and the bonus son. What can I do special for her?
Hi Nan! That’s a great question! There are lots of cute gifts to give her and her bridesmaids. Jewelry is always a great gift, and there are usually lots of bridesmaid-themed jewelry out there. If they do not already have these things, bridal party slippers, robes, or pajamas are a great gift for when they’re getting ready. You could also look into bridemaid hangers for their dresses! There are so many options. Check our directory to see if you can find any local shops near you, and you can also check Etsy!
I am the MOB. My husband, the bride’s step-father, is walking her down the isle. Her dad has a long-time girlfriend. Additionally, the groom’s parents are divorced, but not remarried. The groom also has both paternal and maternal grandmothers walking down the isle. The parents of the groom may not be comfortable with both of them walking their son down the isle. Which means, the groom will walk with his mother. What is your suggestion(s) for the order of the processional?
Hi Sandy! Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. The suggested wedding procession order for you is first, the officiant, then all of the grandparents on both sides, then the bride’s dad and his girlfriend, then you (the MOB – usually with an usher or groomsman), then the groom and his mother, then the bridesmaids and groomsmen, then the ring bearer and flower girl (separate or together), then the bride and her stepfather. This is fairly traditional, but not by any means the required order!
Disagree on stepmother walking in first etiquette or not . I feel the mother of the groom should be escorted in then the stepmother
It is totally up to you guys and the bride how she would like the processional to go! We only recommended that order if you wanted to stay close to tradition. The mother of the groom is usually escorted in with the groom, who is traditionally escorted right before the wedding party and bride. This makes it feel as though the most extended (such as the grandparents) are escorted first and then the closet to the bride and groom (the parents) are escorted right before the bride and groom – the most important people! Usually the most involved family members are escorted later, not first. Hope this helps! -Kacie
Bride here! Both mine and my FH parents are divorced but neither remarried but they do have SO that they have been dating for years that we consider step parents… minus my mother( single). How should they walk in for the ceremony? My father will be walking me down the aisle, and my FH father is the best man and his mothers SO is one of his groomsmen who will be walking with a bridesmaid(FH step fathers daughter). Confusing I know. I thought maybe both step moms gets escorted by an usher, and his father still escorts his mother in and then joins beside him as his best man, while my mother is escorted by usher since my father is walking me? Please help not sure what to do here!
My Step-Son is getting married and thankfully we have a very sweet and wonderful relationship! However, his bio mother will not be invited and expected not to be in attendance. If that’s the case, how would the processional look for myself and my husband, FOG, and where would it be proper for us to be seated? Thank you!
Hi Breanna! Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. If you’d like to follow the common, traditional processional, here is what I would recommend! First, the grandparents (if included), then the bride’s mother, then you and your stepson, then the best man, followed by the groomsmen and bridesmaids, then the maid of honor, then the flower girl and ring bearer, then the father of the bride and the bride. As far as seating goes, I would recommend that you sit with your husband where the grooms parents would sit! Hope this helps!
Hi Brittany! Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. I believe your thinking is on the right track! Although it is confusing, what you have explained sounds perfectly acceptable. Significant others are more than welcome to walk as if they were married – that is completely up to you. Remember that you do not have to follow any specific or traditional order. Figure out what feels most comfortable for you and your groom and family and go with it!
My stepdaughter is getting married in April. Her father and I are paying for everything and her mother nothing. I would love to help my step daughter get dressed and be apart of the things that happen before she walks down the isle. Her mother does not like me at all. How do I handle this ?
Hi Angie! Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. No matter what, those kinds of decisions are always up to the bride! Talk to her about your feelings of wanting to share that special moment with her, and together you both can figure out how to approach her mother together, if needed. You should absolutely be a part of her special day if she wants you there! As long as it doesn’t cause more stress on the bride, we say go for it!
My Father is getting remarried. Who does the Welcome to the Family speech to the Bride?
I thought it was the eldest child of the Groom? Is this a thing that needs to be done?
Hi Sharon!
Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. A Welcome to the Family speech is not required, and it’s completely up to the family and the groom if you all want it to be included! If yes, it is up to your family and your father to decide who will give that speech, but the eldest child is always a good choice.
Hope this helps!
My son is getting married. His father and I are divorced and he is remarry but I am not. The stepmother should not get better recognition than the mother. The groom (my son) should escort his mother to her seat and then take his place at the front. To have his mother ushered in as if she’s just any other guest is disrespectful and dishonors the mother.
Hi Tanya! Kacie with Wedding and Party Network here. You are correct, traditionally, the groom would escort his mother down the aisle. He may also choose to escort his stepmother down the aisle as well. Some couples choose to have all family members ushered in – including the mothers. There are so many different circumstances that would change tradition, but that is utimately up to the groom! We wish you the best, and congratulations!