Weddings are a time for celebration and love. They represent the union of two beings becoming one in a bond to last them for the rest of their lives. Everyone knows that weddings are supposed to be a time of happiness, and engaged couples are supposed to be excitedly planning their wedding and the rest of their lives. However, with every positive emotion, negative ones can often lurk in the darkness. These emotions are the ones that are rarely talked about amongst society as we perceive this season of life to be the most fun and exciting period to experience, and it is.
However, we’re not here to address those happy feelings. We’re here to talk to the anxious bride—to the bride who feels overwhelmed about the entire planning process, to the bride that stays up at night with thoughts racing through her head of wanting every little detail to go perfectly, to the bride who is feeling the full weight of the commitment she is about to make to her partner. Yes, engagements can be sunshine and rainbows but we would be lying if we said it was like that for the entirety of an engagement. So here’s one for the anxious bride.
It’s okay to get tired
Planning a wedding is supposed to be one of the most fun and exciting things that a bride can do. Essentially, you are getting the opportunity to plan a party that is specifically to celebrate the one thing in your life that means the most to you—the love between you and your partner. But what no one ever talks about are the emotions that come from the time in between when you get engaged and when you say “I do.”
We’re not saying that this time is miserable because it isn’t. It can be very enjoyable to look forward to spending your life with someone. However, fatigue is a very real thing amongst many brides. There are often days that you will wake up and want absolutely nothing to do with the planning of your wedding and other days where it’s all you want to do. This emotional rollercoaster is normal. Often it can make you feel guilty or confused because you’re supposed to only be celebrating and feeling happy things right? If you aren’t enjoying planning the wedding, then that’s a representation of how marriage is going to be, right? Wrong.
From bride to bride, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay not to be happy-go-lucky every single minute of your engagement. No, you shouldn’t be miserable the entire time, but no good thing comes easy. Like a relationship, wedding planning is hard work and often it gets exhausting. That’s okay! Thankfully brides aren’t required to be “on” all day every day. Remember to take some time for yourself as well as for your partner and enjoy the times outside of wedding planning. We promise it’s much easier when it doesn’t consume the entirety of your time.
“I just want everything to be perfect”
This is one thought that has probably crossed every bride’s mind at least a million times when planning their wedding. With this being probably one of the most romanticized events that couples experience, there is a lot of pressure for perfection—often a little too much pressure.
As someone who loves Pinterest, it’s easy to see these picture-perfect weddings and imagine yours to be as amazing as them. However, those pictures often are not reality. Many times these images are staged photoshoots and very far from reality. As memes on social media often joke “expectations vs reality,” this actually often rings true in many parts of life, especially weddings. Our expectations and reality very rarely align.
You need to find happiness in your own reality. As someone with sky-high expectations and often mediocre realities, this is a hard one to nail down. However, when you’re planning your wedding, there is rarely anything that will be the image of perfection. The only perfect part of it should be the way it makes you feel. Do what makes you and your partner happy. Even if it isn’t “picture perfect” in the long run, the things that make you happy will be the things you remember most from your big day. And remember to give yourself grace. Perfection is only an image.
“This is a huge commitment”
Hey girl, it’s okay to be anxious. It’s normal. You’re about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life so it’s okay to feel the heaviness of the commitment you are making. Anxious people tend to worry about worrying and can convince themselves of things that may not exactly be true. Take some time with your partner and breathe. Premarital counseling is a wonderful option for you both to get on the same page about life before your big day. You’re not being silly for being anxious about this commitment. You’re just human.
At the end of the day when it’s all said and done, you want to remember your wedding fondly. Though it may be hard to avoid the stress, remember to take some time for yourself as well as for your partner. No matter what it looks like, you’re going to look back and love your wedding day, so remember not to stress too much about it in the meantime.
Hang in there, we’re all in this together.
From bride to bride.
– Mary from Wedding and Party Network